If you're wondering how long women would like sex to last the best course of action is to just ask them, though the answers they provide don't exactly tally with the reality of a lot of sex couples are having.
Studies into the ideal length of time sex actually takes and how it measures up to people's expectations have found that the average time sex lasts, or at least the intra-ejaculatory latency time which measures the period between first penetration and ejaculation, is five-and-a-bit minutes.
However, despite lasting on average less than six minutes men thought their own average time for sex was around nine minutes, and that the goal they ought to be aiming for was 16 minutes, so the reality is nowhere close to people's ideas of how long sex ought to last.
Meanwhile, in an attempt to know what women's opinions on the matter were, GQ writer Sophia Benoit decided to ask them and note down their range of answers.
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Generally, she found that the women she asked wanted sex to last between five and 10 minutes, but for a longer period of foreplay beforehand, with her noting that most studies were only counting penetrative sex which wasn't the entire sexual experience.
A handful told her they wanted sex to last about an hour, but most of the answers she got back were several minutes of sex and equal or more time spent on foreplay.
That largely tallies with what sex therapists have said about how long women want intercourse to last.
Psychiatrist Dr Alok Kanojia said half the women he spoke to didn't want sex to go on for 'more than 15 minutes', noting that people were getting ideas from porn about how long it ought to last.
He warned this was giving 'both men and women unrealistic expectations' about how long sex typically lasted, while sexual health expert Dr Rena Malik said men and women took different amounts of times to climax and women typically took longer.
Women, men and their respective expectations all seem to be on different pages when it comes to how long someone should last and how long people typically do.
Dr Malik cited a study of 4,000 women saying the average time they wanted sex to last was 25 minutes, though whether this was penetration or a combination of that and foreplay was not clear.
For those wanting to make things last a bit longer in the bedroom and have a more fun and varied time, there are suggestions you could try a method known as 'playing pinball'.
Basically, there is something called 'escalator theory' that sex goes in a fairly linear order of kissing, touching, oral and penetration before ending with an orgasm.
However, the 'pinball' method recommends shaking things up, dropping the idea that sex needs to involve penetration, and switching things up to go with the flow like a pinball being bounced all over the place by the various bumpers where pleasure and doing what feels good in the moment is placed above feeling any need to stick to a routine.
Topics: Sex and Relationships
Joe Harker