Husband and wife had 'sex every day for a year' to see impact it would have on them
A couple decided to have 'sex every day for a year' as they wanted to try it as an experiment, and also because she suggested it to him as a 40th birthday present.
Charla Muller had been wondering what to get her husband of eight years, Brad, for his big four-oh and decided that her gift would be them having sex every day for the next 365 days.
However, when he learned this was going to be his birthday present he initially said 'no', as Charla told The Guardian her husband didn't think they'd be able to manage it and worried it might take the joy out of sex.
She said: "He turned me down! He thought that scheduling time for intimacy would detract from its loveliness.
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"He also wondered if he was up to it. He said, 'What would happen if I have a headache?'"
Eventually though, he agreed to 'give it a go' after they'd figured out a list of rules they could agree to, including respecting the other person's choice to turn down the day's scheduled marital nookie if they weren't feeling up to it.
It's a smidge more difficult than just agreeing to boink on a daily basis. Charla and Brad realised they'd have to agree that watching TV was a secondary concern, they'd have to properly switch off from work and be stricter about enforcing their children's bedtimes.
In the course of their experiment, they didn't actually manage to make the beast with two backs every day, there were times when life got in the way and one of them was on a business trip without the other which posed clear logistical problems, but they did get down to business an awful lot during those 365 days.
Charla explained that her sex life with her husband had gone off quite a bit, but once they started their experiment she said it was 'as if we were dating again'.
"The unintended beauty of my gift was its unconditionality. There was no need for Brad to wine and dine me at overpriced restaurants," she said.
"Our house ran better because we were more agreeable, more helpful, more solicitous to each other, and our time together was truly about us, not the promise of special date-night sex."
However, by the final months of the year, the couple were 'going through the motions' but still found it to be 'a good way of connecting'.
By the end of the year, their marriage was in a stronger place but Charla - who wrote a book titled 365 Nights about the experience - was 'giddy with the notion that I didn't have to have sex'.
She found that in the aftermath, she and her husband were 'much more relaxed with each other', while their home was no longer 'full of unspoken tension'.
All in all, their sex life improved, they didn't end up having sex every day and their relationship got better.
Still, it's probably best if you don't try and offer this to your partner as their big birthday present.
Topics: Sex and Relationships, Community
Joe Harker