Tom Wood
Punk band The K*nts have aimed a sideways dig at LadBaby after they claimed a fifth successive Christmas number one spot in the charts.
The Christmas number one spot used to be a seriously big deal, with the biggest names in pop music duking it out to claim the coveted festive crown.
Nowadays, it tends to be a bit stranger than that, with various novelty and charity singles getting involved, and more often than not winning.
OK, the 90s had Mr Blobby, the Teletubbies, and Chef from South Park singing ‘Chocolate Salty Balls’, but there was still a real sprinkling of stardust in the yuletide charts in those days as well.
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For the past five years, ‘comedy’ duo LadBaby have had the Christmas chart-topper firmly in their grasp, and this year turned out to be no different.
In fact, their ‘Food Aid’ tune – a nauseating comment on the UK’s cost-of-living crisis featuring Martin Lewis – is their fifth consecutive UK Christmas number one.
Not even The Beatles managed anything like that.
What does that say about us? Well, it doesn’t bear thinking about.
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Admittedly, they are raising money for charity, so that’s good at least.
Anyway, they were marked every step of the way this year by singles from the likes of YouTubers the Sidemen and – of course – The K*nts.
The latter released a single called ‘F*** The Tories’, which is a fairly on-the-nose look at the current government.
In the end, they finished in seventh place, which is a remarkable effort given that there is no possible world in which you’d be able to get away with playing their track on the radio.
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After seeing success with ‘Boris Johnson Is A F***ing C***’ in 2020, followed up by ‘Boris Johnson Is Still A F***ing C***’ the year after, their hopes must have been high.
However, they were rolled over in the end by the slick PR machine of LadBaby wiffle.
They didn’t take it lightly, either.
Posting a picture that mocked up Mark and Roxanne Hoyle, who make up LadBaby, with some sausage rolls and paper money, they wrote: “The Great Sausage Roll Swindle’.
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In the tweet, The K*nts wrote: “No. 7. You can’t beat the system but the minute you stop banging your head up against it they’ve won,
“Thank you all you certain sorts of person.
“It is life-affirming to know so many of you also can see through all the b******s.
“F**k them and F**k The Tories.”
Even though they didn’t quite crash the top five this year, they were still clearly pleased with their efforts, and one fan replied: “Another campaign to be proud of!
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“3rd top 10 in 3 years despite being blacklisted and smeared by practically every big name in the media.
“Hold your heads high lads.”
There’s always next year – Lord knows The K*nts will definitely still have some material to work with.