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Man telling his girlfriend she should take his surname when married sparks debate

Niamh Shackleton

Published 
| Last updated 

Man telling his girlfriend she should take his surname when married sparks debate

A man has sparked a debate online after sharing that he wants his girlfriend to take his surname if they marry.

YouTube stars and podcasters Ethan Payne and Faith Kelly have been dating since 2021, and went on to welcome their first child together, a little girl, a year later.

They've since released their podcast titled Growing Paynes, and a recent topic of discussion is if Faith will take Ethan's surname if they get married.

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In a snippet of their podcast which has now gone viral, Faith explains: "Ethan won't propose to me because I want to be Kelly-Payne."

Responding, Ethan fumes: "Faith doesn't want to take my name and that irks me."

Faith then goes on to argue that she does in fact want to take her partner's name, but wants to also keep her surname.

"I don't want to lose my association with my family," the mum-of-one explains.

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Ethan insists that she wouldn't be losing her family link, but still wants her to just take his name.

Explaining his own reasoning, Ethan - who is also one seventh of YouTube group The Sidemen alongside the likes of KSI - says that he thinks 'that's how it should be done' and that Faith would only be 'half his wife' if she took his name and her own.

Faith Kelly and Ethan Payne have been dating since 2021. Credits: Instagram/@faithlouisak
Faith Kelly and Ethan Payne have been dating since 2021. Credits: Instagram/@faithlouisak

"You're bottling it, that's what it is," he went on to jest.

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Their conversation has sparked a huge online debate about the topic, with some labelling Ethan's remarks as a 'red flag'.

"Naaah, that’s a big red flag. Thought more of him," said one person on TikTok.

"Biggest red flag ever," echoed another, as a third person went on: "This is the brightest and biggest red flag I’ve ever seen like there should be no problem cus she’s taking his name as well so."

Someone else added: "It’s her name…. She’s including his name in it??? I don’t understand his point here."

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Meanwhile, another person said Ethan was 'treating her like a school child'.

People did come to Ethan's defence, however, and said that they understood his way of thinking.

One person said: "I feel where he is coming from."

Ethan won't propose to Faith as she 'won't take his name'. Credit: Instagram/@faithlouiseak
Ethan won't propose to Faith as she 'won't take his name'. Credit: Instagram/@faithlouiseak
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"Sounds like she wants one foot out the door already. You’re either all in or all out," a second person penned.

Another person argued that 'you should always take your man’s name'.

A fourth continued: "Wants a traditional marriage with out the tradition. You can’t make this sh*t up."

But Faith isn't alone in wanting to keep her maiden name.

In 2021, the Deed Poll Office confirmed that women adding their husband's name alongside theirs was up by 30 percent compared to 2020.

This is a stark difference from 2016 when it was found that 90 percent of women took their husband's name to replace their maiden name, as per the Independent.

Featured Image Credit: TikTok/Growing Paynes podcast

Topics: TikTok, Sex and Relationships

Niamh Shackleton
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