‘Hotwife’ explains why sleeping with other men doesn’t count as cheating
A couple who got into the 'hotwife' lifestyle after being married for years have explained why they don't see it as cheating.
Maddie and Kyle have been together for 17 years, and early into their marriage they found things were getting 'a bit boring', so they started experimenting with non-monogamy.
Appearing on the Channel 4 documentary Love Against The Odds, Maddie said: "We were just like 'let's make a list of things to do to just make things a bit more exciting'."
Her idea of a more exciting marriage was going to more places and going on trips, while Kyle asked 'do you want to have a threesome?' which is something they did do for a while.
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Eventually they got into swinging and from there took up 'hotwifing', which is where a married woman sleeps with other men who aren't her husband.
It's all with the knowledge and consent of her husband but there are still people who think it's cheating in the relationship, and Maddie told the documentary why she didn't see it as such.
"They call us the ones that are being immoral, but then that's their behaviour," she said as the couple explained one of their neighbours signed up for their OnlyFans page and told the village.
"When people say it's cheating, cheating is deceitful, there's always consent, there's never anything non-consensual in my relationship. I've never cheated in my life."
Maddie added that a neighbour rumbling their OnlyFans and spreading the word around meant they 'had to change how we do everything' as now the other mums at school won't talk to her.
Kyle reckons the reaction is harsher on Maddie than him as he doesn't get 'filthy glances'.
"Maybe because she's female she seemed to be doing something more wrong," he suggested as a possible reason why his wife was bearing the brunt of the shaming attempts.
As for what Kyle gets out of the 'hotwifing' arrangement, he said: "I enjoy her going out alone more. What I like about her going out alone is not knowing — your mind is going all over the place."
After she's been out Maddie tells her husband everything that's happened, which he likes as he added: "I like that she can come home and tell me in her words what she experienced, how she felt, what she was feeling.
"I'm just getting the visual.”
Afterwards, they'll often have something called 'reclaimed' sex which Kyle thinks is 'more intense' than regular sex.
Why is 'hotwifing' becoming so popular?
Sexologist Dr Jess O'Reilly of the Sex With Dr Jess podcast has spoken about the surge in popularity of 'hotwifing', revealing there's all sorts of reasons why a couple would be into it.
She explained that it could be because they get pleasure from a partner enjoying themselves, subverting sexual norms, exploring new and intimate sides of their partner, and the potential power of knowing their partner still ultimately chooses them even after being desired by others.
There are all sorts of dynamics that could potentially be at play, as the sexologist said getting into the new style should start with a conversation that should tackle the following three questions:
- What about the idea of hotwifing turns you on?
- Do you have any specific hotwifing fantasies?
- Do you have any concerns about this dynamic?
Topics: Channel 4, Sex and Relationships, Lifestyle
Joe Harker