Relationship expert says there’s one thing that leads to most break-ups and how to avoid it

A relationship expert has given his verdict on the main reason couples break up and what they can do to avoid this.

Relationships end for all sorts of reasons, but the population of Dumpsville might have more in common with each other than all finding themselves suddenly single again.

Looking back on past relationships you've had, you might be able to see the signs that things were coming to an end that results in stonewalling, the last stop on the relationship train before the service terminates.

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What exactly is stonewalling?

Stonewalling is a refusal to communicate, whether it be the silent treatment or sealing oneself off emotionally to signal that in the mind at least, it's basically all over.

So, what's the reason behind the break up and how are you supposed to avoid this?

According to relationship expert Jimmy Knowles one of the biggest reasons why a relationship survives or disintegrates depends on making 'deposits in each other's emotional bank accounts'.

"The truth is your partner has an emotional bank account and you are making deposits or withdrawals whether you realise it or not," he explained.

"So often we let stress get in the way of remembering to make deposits in each other's love bank.

"Unfortunately I had to learn the hard way that forgetting to make deposits in your relationship has another name, it's called neglect."

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You might love your partner and be in a continuous state of love with them, but when is the last time you showed it or let them know?

Humans aren't mind readers so it doesn't hurt to let your partner know you love them, as Knowles explained 'this is why people say love isn't enough'.

As for how you can make this work in your own relationship, he said the thing you needed to ask your partner was: "What are a few things I can consistently do this week that would help you feel valued, prioritised and loved?"

It sounds simple, just asking what you've got to be doing to make your partner feel how you want them to, but there's a reason why communication is so important in relationships.

The alternative he laid out was to 'fight about stupid stuff' which leads to resentment building and emotional walls being erected which threaten the relationship.

There are always signs to watch out for in a relationship, and hopefully you're not wearing the rose-tinted glasses that make you miss potential red flags, but it's handy to think about the signs you're giving off as well.

Topics: Sex and Relationships

Joe Harker

Joe graduated from the University of Salford with a degree in Journalism and worked for Reach before joining the LADbible Group. When not writing he enjoys the nerdier things in life like painting wargaming miniatures and chatting with other nerds on the internet. He's also spent a few years coaching fencing. Contact him via [email protected]

@MrJoeHarker