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Topics: Lifestyle, Sex and Relationships
Joe Harker
Those of you well-versed in the ways of swinging may already know this, but for people who don't, there's something called 'soft swapping' which is used to ease newbies into the lifestyle.
Swinging is getting more popular, or at least more mainstream, in the UK as the internet has opened up a plethora of new ways for like-minded people to get together, deposit their car keys in a bowl and commence badoinking with one another.
These days, you can go on 'spicy cruises' where swinging is on the table while you sail the high seas, and what happens at sea stays there.
However, there are all sorts of rituals and terminology to navigate for newcomers and among those is something called 'soft swapping'.
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According to Hims, when couples are taking their first steps into the swinger's lifestyle, they often won't dive in at the deep end by going into different rooms for a spot of rumpy-pumpy with someone who isn't their partner.
They explain that it's a type of 'soft swinging', where people who are usually new to becoming swingers will 'warm up' to the lifestyle and get used to what's going on.
However, while 'soft swinging' typically involves a couple getting it on in front of other swinging couples to get them used to doing the horizontal bop around others before taking that leap and swapping partners, 'soft swapping' is that first step into stepping away from your partner and trying something new with someone else.
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As such, soft swapping involves a couple swapping partners and then going on to try non-penetrative sex acts, so you'll be swapping partners and things will still be getting hot and heavy. Still, you won't quite cross the boundary of mashing genitals together.
This is the 'soft' gateway into full swinging, where a person is ready to swap partners and get sexual with someone else, but penetration is not on the cards.
Those familiar with the swinging lifestyle will tell you that each couple has their own set of rules and boundaries which need to be respected.
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Swinging couple Bella and Jase explained that making it clear where on the body touching and kissing is permitted and what's over the line is very important.
Once you've set the boundaries, you can get a clear picture of what you can do, and Hims says soft swapping generally involves kissing, touching, fingering, hand jobs, oral sex and toy play.
Depending on various couples' boundaries, some of these might not be part of the fun, and it's up to everyone involved to set their rules and understand what they're not allowed to do.
The golden rule of soft swapping appears to be no penetrative sex; otherwise, you'd just be swinging regularly.
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The next step up from a soft swap is a 'full swap', which is what people are likely to think of when they think of swinging as people exchange partners and have full sex.
In general, all swingers are expected to discuss boundaries and get clear, enthusiastic consent from whomever they end up with, and to use the protection provided to avoid getting someone pregnant or spreading an STD around.
Speaking of which, Hims says regular screening for diseases is expected among swingers and being honest with partners about when you were last tested is important too.
Now you know.