A swinger has explained why she reckons people interested in the lifestyle shouldn't let one of their main concerns stop them from giving it a go.
Swinging, as you surely know, is where couples decide to go beyond the bounds of monogamy and find other people to do the hey-hey with, but it's not for everyone and even some who are interested have concerns.
TikToking swinger Olivia goes by the name 'VistaWife' online, and she's spoken about one of the biggest issues people have with swinging which is the possibility of getting emotionally attached to someone else.
A couples therapy group said the biggest emotional risk of swinging was developing envy as a result of the lifestyle.
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Olivia said she could 'totally relate' to people's worries as when she started swinging she had that same concern, and told them 'from the start you need to know you and your partner are emotionally monogamous'.
Olivia suggested that if you were having doubts about getting other people involved in the bedroom, then 'swinging might not be for you'.
Giving her own experience, she told her viewers in a video that she and husband Gage 'never got that jealousy feeling'.
It was something she 'thought she might have had' going into swinging but she found 'once everything is getting going and everybody's enjoying themselves that feeling totally doesn't even come to it'.
The TikToker described her swinging experience as an 'emotional rollercoaster' which made her 'feel all this adrenaline and excitement and it all takes over'.
She's also said it's 'good' to be jealous in an open relationship, describing it as a 'signal'.
"In the swinging world using that emotion and not ignoring it is the most powerful thing you can do as a couple," she explained as she said 'monogamy does not solve jealousy'.
"What is jealousy? Jealousy is usually a fear. Fear of not being enough. Fear of being replaced. Fear of just not having that same connection. You know what? That's OK. We're all human.
"You just need to pause and say: 'Why am I feeling this way? Does there need to be a boundary in place or do I just need reassurance?' At the end of the day, swinging works best when couples are teammates and teammates communicate, not compete. So if you're jealous, good. That means you care."
There's a reason why many new swingers will begin with something called 'soft swapping', where they'll try non-penetrative sex acts with people other than their partners to see how they cope with that emotionally.
Other swinging couples have said each group has their own rules for how they operate, which includes things like not kissing above the neck.
Topics: Sex and Relationships, Lifestyle, TikTok
Joe Harker