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Topics: Sex and Relationships
Jess Battison
A woman who dated married men using a very specific website said they all had one thing in common.
Look, let’s be straight up here, cheating isn’t exactly an encouraged thing in relationships. Even non-monogamous couples and those who partake in swinging have their own boundaries in place to stop lines from being crossed and entering cheating territory.
But as some of you may unfortunately know (or perhaps not even realise, sorry LADs), affairs and betrayal still goes on pretty often.
And there’s even a literal dating website aimed at married people who are looking to have an affair, with September said to be one of its busiest months of the year.
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So, one woman decided to set up a ‘fake’ profile to meet up with men from Illicit Encounters.
Getting her husband’s blessing to do so, Mel Fallowfield said she wanted to see what kind of men the site attracts and why they cheat.
Interestingly she quickly noted something that the vast majority of them all shared.
“I’d say 90 per cent of the profiles I read made it clear they didn’t want their marriages to end - and remarkably, they all doted on their wives,” she wrote for The Sun.
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“However, away from their humdrum marriages, they wanted fun, passion, excitement and more sex (of course).”
Within half an hour, Fallowfield says she was ‘inundated with messages’ and that there were ‘always hundreds’ of men and women online.
With a few looking for niche experiences like BDSM or to be ‘daddy’, the 52-year-old said that many of the profiles were very similar.
“Men looking for ‘stolen moments of fun’, stating their marriage was good, but they were missing excitement,” she wrote. “In fact, many said they didn’t want to ‘rock the marital boat’. How noble of them.”
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She chose to meet up with four men and soon realised a ‘common denominator with these cheaters’ was claiming to ‘still adore’ their wives but missing ‘physical intimacy’.
They were all different in age, ranging from 38 to 80 but didn’t exactly seem to be strangers to cheating as Fallowfield concluded that the website seemed a ‘less risky way to go about it’.
“Some might argue that websites like this facilitate cheating that wouldn’t otherwise happen, but if someone wants to stray, they’ll find a way to do it anyway,” she said.
“Overwhelmingly, I realised that there is no type; these men were from all walks of life, some had children, others didn’t, they were from all age groups.
“The only thing they all had in common is that they all appeared to dote on their wives.”