Woman who had sex with partner every day for a year shares everything that changed
A woman who resolved to have sex with her partner every single day for a year shared what she learned from the experience.
Brittany Gibbons didn't like the way she looked, said she was 'horrible at intimacy' and she just couldn't turn off that insecurity that was making sex with her husband 'a really anxiety-inducing experience'.
Writing in Huff Post about her year, Brittany explained that whenever she and her husband looked like they were going to have sex she'd start avoiding it due to anxiety.
The temperature, the stress, cramps, deadlines or one of their kids being too scared to sleep alone that night were all kinds of reasons she'd deploy to avoid sex.
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Either that or she'd try explaining why she felt self-conscious, he'd ask why him telling her she was beautiful wasn't helping her get over it and she'd feel 'like a horrible, horrible a**hole'.
This is where the plan to have sex every day for a year started, deciding to return to a focus on intimacy, reasoning: "You make yourself do it until suddenly, you love it."
"It stopped being a chore"
The early stages were 'rough' for Brittany as she felt like she was spending a lot of time preparing for sex when the scheduled lovemaking started feeling like a chore.
However, in time it stopped being a chore and became the time of day when she was 'most at peace' and could really communicate with her husband Andy, who she says 'had a really good time' that year.
"As the months passed, I started looking forward to it," she explained.
"Sex begat more sex, and those connected, loved-up feelings began to creep outside of the bedroom - or, in our case, the laundry room, the closet, and our garage - and into our everyday lives.
"We were more romantic with each other, touching arms as we passed, kissing longer before work - and not just the cold familiar peck. Our relationship was stronger and better when our intimacy was flourishing."
"The key for me being able to enjoy it is feeling confident and gorgeous"
One of the main changes that improved things was a boost to her confidence, as Brittany explained it helped her and her husband communicate better about her anxieties and how they could best understand each other.
She wrote: "It took a lot of talking to make him realize that me not feeling sexy was not an attack on him, and him being hurt about it only made me feel worse.
"I wanted to enjoy sex, too. And the key for me being able to enjoy it is feeling confident and gorgeous, and that was a me journey, not a him journey, though having a cheerleader on the sidelines was a plus."
She explained that once she gained more confidence the daily sex improved.
Brittany also gained the confidence to better articulate what she wanted from sex and what she enjoyed most, rather than expecting her husband to figure it out.
"A better wife, mother and woman"
All in all having sex every day for a year left Brittany feeling 'secure in her relationship and feeling good about herself', which was the biggest transformation.
"I am not the best version of myself when I am insecure and panicky," she said, before adding: "I'm basically a walking vague relationship Facebook post. I am so much more focused when worrying about my sex life is off the table.
"It was never about anyone wanting me - it was about me wanting myself. And it only took an entire year of getting laid to figure that out."
She explained afterwards that she and her husband didn't continue having sex every day from then on, but they were able to better get a handle on each other's sexual appetites and their relationship was much improved.
Topics: Sex and Relationships, Lifestyle
Joe Harker