You'd have to do something pretty outrageous to have an angry mob after you with their only wish being for your head to be on a stick.
Gabrielle Simiyu somehow managed that though, simply because (for lack of another term) he's a goat fucker.
On Friday night the young Kenyan was caught having a bit too much of a baaaarilliant time with his woolly friend, which caused a lynch mob to go after him.
Police intervened, stopping the crowd of angry locals from mauling the horny devil. Simiyu was that desperate for goat loving that he rather sheepishly creeped onto another man's land to cosy up to the farm animal in Nangwe village.
Credit: NTV News
Richard Wanyonyi, the owner of the goat, said: "I heard the goat's bleating when I was sleeping and decided to go and find out why. It was dark so I took my time and when I reached there I saw someone jump and go to the cow shed but he forgot his shoes."
Reports coming out of the village claim the 26-year-old is a huge admirer of David Cameron, but would rather not limit himself to just one breed of animal.
Allegedly he turned to the goat because he'd been denied by a girl earlier in the night at a funeral.
This did not happen for Simiyu. Credit The Wedding Crashers/New Line Cinema
Featured image credit: NTV News