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Have you ever sat there and thought, damn. I wish there was a guide to life.
I don't know how to change a tyre, I don't know how to come across sincere when I'm complimenting someone's hair, and you know those Magic Eye books? I haven't got a fucking clue how to use them.
Well, luckily for you the Internet is an awesome place, full of information and endless tips and tricks to better your lives. If you need a tutorial on something, head over to YouTube. For absolutely everything else in the world - go to wikiHow.
You've probably come across this page at some point in your life. Maybe when you've Googled something particularly obscure. Up comes the oddly-shit illustrations and the familiar logo. But what the fuck is it?
It's been subject to quite a bit of piss-taking over the years. To be completely honest, I thought it was a satire site for a long time. I avoided it completely. However, it's completely legitimate. The 'how-to' guides featured on it are 100% serious. Although you'd be forgiven for thinking otherwise as some of the titles are just so unbelievable.
Let's take a look at some of the best guides...
Are you sick of being invited everywhere constantly and not having time to binge-watch Love on Netflix? Is your phone forever buzzing with notifications from a variety of different social media platforms? Does your personality naturally gravitate others to you and you're just fucking sick of it? Don't worry. There's a guide on how to be an annoying prick.
Tips include such gems as: "Sing. Don't just sing, sing horribly, kind of like a walrus dying of suffocation. Aka, really bad. Also, make it a really annoying song."
And this particular gem: "Poke the person constantly. When they look over at you, hide behind your hands. As if by hiding your face in your hands, they won't see you. Then repeat."
I have no idea why this is a thing. Perhaps it'd come in useful if you were catfishing someone? I don't know. But it's completely bonkers.
Advice includes: "Start a conversation with 'what's happenin, laah'. (translation: Hello mate. Pronounce the laa as laaaa and the a sound is like the a in 'apple' not like the a in 'argue') anyway forget the sound ar.. for the word and you will be fine."
Also: "End the conversation with 'In a bit kidda', no one says 'peace out.' in Liverpool."
You know what it's like. You're in school, or a meeting, or the queue to pay for your Nando's, when all of a sudden you feel the familiar sensation of an unwanted erection. It's awkward. Potentially embarrassing. What do you do?
wikiHow to the rescue.
As a woman, I've personally never suffered with this particular faux pas, but I sympathise.
FINALLY. A guide to sexting. Just what we always wanted. I'm not even being sarcastic, some people really need this guide.
They write: "If the girl you're texting says she's studying sex ed, you can ask if you can come over for a 'hands on' tutorial."
Here are some other things you can say to up the ante:
Please, for the love of all that is holy, don't initiate sexting by asking what someone's wearing on 'this balmy night' or by asking them to guess the colour of your underwear. Jesus. No-one wants to picture your greying boxers with the rip down one side.
They then suggest some more interesting ice-breakers:
My favourite part is the way that they suggest you end it:
To be completely fair to them, sexting is difficult. And any guide is going to sound cheesy. So fair play to them for giving it a go.
There's a little insight into the deep, dark pages on wikiHow.
As of February 2015, it had over 180,000 how-to articles. So if you're looking for a guide on something, they probably have it.
Featured Image Credit: WikiHow
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