Austrian Man Fined 500 Euros For Deliberately Farting At Police Officers
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Yes, you read that correctly. He farted at the coppers, and they've slapped him with a gigantic fine for it.
The Austrian police have been at pains to defend their actions, suggesting that maybe the man didn't just fart at them, and that he'd been up to other shenanigans as well, but it still seems like a pretty harsh punishment.
The Österreich newspaper reported that the fine was issued because the man was 'offending public decency' and the police said that he'd been acting the goat around them long before he broke wind - and their patience.
The police took to Twitter to say: "Of course no one is reported for accidentally 'letting one go'."
They said that this dude had been behaving 'provocatively and uncooperatively' during a police encounter that occurred on 5 June, before the offensive trumping.
In accordance with the natural law and order of all humans, he who smelt it - in this case, the police officer - dealt it, which is to say, dealt a fine to the offender.
According to further reports from the Austrian police, the miscreant arose from a park bench - his odious purpose clearly in mind - after looking directly at the officers, he then 'let go a massive intestinal wind apparently with full intent'.
Oh dear, when you put it like that, it sounds like it was done with both intent and malice aforethought.
The obviously offended police statement continued by noting that 'our colleagues don't like to be farted at so much'.
Well, who does? That's a tune we can all dance to.
The police force also stated that the man can appeal his fine, should he so desire.
Right, Let's just row back upstream, slightly.
How does one prove intent in a case of 'first degree cop-keffing', anyway?
Did they analyse his eating patterns?
Perhaps this unfortunate man had consumed a particularly truculent meal in the run-up to his encounter with the unlucky police officers?
How can we be sure that this heinous crime was not just an unfortunate case of circumstance?
The only true course of action now is to demand answers, and pump the considerable resources of the Austrian judicial system into getting to the bottom of this.
Any more for any more? OK, that's enough.