Drunk Men Hospitalised After Injecting Cream Into Their Penises To Make Them Bigger
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Two drunken French blokes ended up with badly swollen penises after they injected themselves with a cream that they thought would give them a bit of extra girth.
Jeezo, lads. It's not a f**king éclair.
The men, who are both in their thirties, got the idea after watching a YouTube 'tutorial' claiming to offer tips on how to get a bigger penis.
Obviously, it's a load of nonsense, and all it got them was a one-way ticket to the hospital.
The idea was that they'd inject themselves with anti-hematoma cream, which can be used to treat piles, and then they'd get bigger willies.
However, they decided to experiment on each other, rather than simply self-administering this ridiculous procedure.
The doctors, who examined the understandably anonymous couple the next day, wrote of how they experienced 'progressive painful swelling of the penis during the night' before high-tailing it to the hospital the next morning.
They both said that it hurt quite a bit when the doctors touched their penises, and some pictures - which we're not going to show here - were published in a medical journal showing the extent of the problem.
The initial fear was that the cream could have blocked up the lymph nodes, which the body uses to expel excess fluid, which could explain the swelling.
They were told to rest up and take some painkillers, but the sad truth is that the doctors have no idea what happened, because the pair never came back for a check-up.
While that suggests that maybe they made a full recovery, we just can't say.
In the journal Annales de Dermatologie et de Vénéréologie, the medical team that treated the men said: "Self-injection into the penis is an old practice.
"It may be motivated by the desire to have a larger penis in order to increase self-esteem or to achieve enhanced sexual performance, or it may be part of chem-sex practices, among other reasons.
"It is becoming more accessible since patients can now watch online tutorials, as occurred in the present case."
The long and short of it, they warned, is that injecting stuff into your d**k is most definitely to be avoided, because it can cause nasty problems such as ulcers, gangrene, and erectile dysfunction.
Speaking to MailOnline, Dr Rich Viney, a consultant urologist at the Queen Elizabeth Hospital in Birmingham, said: "In this story we have two amateurs, under the influence of alcohol, injecting a product not designed to be injected in their penises under the guidance of a YouTube video.
"This was never going to work out well and there's a real likelihood that there will be irreversible damage with long term implications for their erections. This is something no right-minded individual would do.
"Ultimately, the augmentation of the appearances of the genitals for both men and women carry with it risks of scarring and infection, poor results and a possible loss of function.
"If someone wants to explore interventions of this kind they should consult with a suitably qualified specialist and ideally seek more than one opinion."
There you have it, folks. Listen to the experts. Don't inject stuff into your junk.
