Canadian Teacher Suspended For Showing Salad Fingers Videos To His Students
Yep, remember the wee green guy who likes to touch rusty spoons and lives in a strange and desolate landscape that may or may not be entirely of his own devising?
Can't really think of anything more apt for these times, actually.
Anyway, the teacher - who we're not going to name - worked at a school near to Prince George, British Columbia and decided that he'd show his students a few innocent videos.
Amongst those videos were things like Don't Hug Me I'm Scared - a surreal web horror series - Asdfmovie - another weird internet series and, of course, Salad Fingers.
As you might imagine to be the case, many of his students weren't immediately familiar with this sort of thing (kids today, eh?) and were quite understandably freaked the f*** out.
If you're also confused by this, Salad Fingers is a creation of British animator David Firth that came out in 2004. It features a haunting soundtrack and an even more haunting green protagonist who seems to be sexually excited by rusty things.
Cue the heavy breathing and that voice.
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The British Columbia Commissioner for Teacher Regulation, Howard Kushner, released a statement in which they outlined the reasons for the teacher's suspension.
It's like no other document of this sort. Seriously, what must the admin worker at the BC Schools head office must have thought when asked to type this out.
It read: "One called Salad Fingers featured an animated character who says 'the feeling of rust against my salad fingers is almost orgasmic' followed by 'I must caress your rusty kettle'.
"The second film was called Don't Hug Me I'm Scared which shows puppets drawing skulls, then trying to glue glitter on an anatomical heart, cutting a pie made of bloody meat and writing out the word 'death'."
"The third video was called the Asdfmovie which depicts stick characters including one female stabbing each other in a fit of jealousy, and then a number of dead stick children."
To be fair, it's not as if this is his only indiscretion. He's also been ticked off for asking students about crushes, talking to students about their boy/girlfriends, and discussing his own 'expensive' divorce.
The suspension document, signed by the commissioner and the teacher himself, states that he knows that he 'demonstrated poor judgement in his interactions with students in sharing inappropriate videos and personal information with them'.
Yeah, that sounds like a fair assessment.
Featured Image Credit: David Firth