Ben Thompson
There's nothing quite the love and affection of a cat, is there?
They make for great companion pets, whether they're purring on your lap or chasing a piece of string around your living room.
But as one coroner has pointed out, cats are animals at the end of the day.
And with that comes animal instincts.
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Needless to say, this is something many cat lovers would probably rather not think about.
Coroner Toby Savoy was appearing on the podcast This Past Weekend with Theo Von.
Given his profession, it's understandable that chat would often take a dark turn.
But even this tidbit might prove to be a step too far for some.
Savoy told his interviewer: "If you die in a home that's locked with animals, those animals will eat you.
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"Really fast. Especially a cat."
I like how he felt like he had to qualify that.
He singles out cats in particular, while acknowledging that dogs are prone to eating their owners too.
Savoy said: "Dogs will hold out until they have nothing left to eat.
"But cats will remove your head in 24 hours."
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I guess you could say they will de-cat-itate you.
Sorry.
Theo Von responded: "Even cats that were loved by their owners?
"Or do you think it was just cats that had something with the owner and they're gonna say 'This is my time'?"
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To this, Savoy said: "No, they're absolutely feeding on you.
"I don't care how much you loved that cat and how much that cat loved you.
"He's gonna eat you."
Think about that while you pet Fluffy tonight.
Savoy revealed that one pet can be relied upon not to turn you into pet chow - Labradors.
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He explained: "Labs, for some reason, don't eat their owners.
"Unless they're locked in for months, I guess they would.
"I find it's more smaller dogs and cats.
"Cats don't wait.
"Probably a hour or two, I guess."
Delightful.
After all we do for cats with the constant feeding, emptying their litter trays and adorning them with toys which they quickly destroy.
Hmm, maybe the warning signs were there all along?
This revelation caused quite a stir on Twitter, where many were horrified at their thought of their felines feasting on them.
One wrote: "I knew I was anti-cat and anti-small dog for a reason."
A fellow cat hater wrote: "Never trusted cats and now I know why."
Another tweeted: "Wtf I have never heard of this."
Elsewhere, people managed to see the humour in pet-on-owner consumption.
One user tweeted: "My dog is such a picky eater, she'd probably just starve to death."
And one man applied cold hard logic to the situation: "Survival is a priority for every species. No room for emotions or feelings."
I guess so.
It's a dog-eat-dog world out there.
Or a dog and cat eat owner world, I suppose.