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Couples therapist sparks debate after revealing whether a man should split the bill on a date
Home>Community
Published 18:18 28 Nov 2024 GMT

Couples therapist sparks debate after revealing whether a man should split the bill on a date

Lori Gottlieb has ruffled some feathers after revealing who she thinks the financial responsibility falls on

Olivia Burke

Olivia Burke

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Even after all these years, the debate over who should pick up the bill on a date is still alive and kicking.

At this rate, it seems like the human population will never be able to come to an agreement about which party the financial responsibility falls on.

One look at the comment section of Steven Bartlett's latest video on his Diary of A CEO YouTube channel will tell you as much.

Fans of the businessman, 32, weren't shy about sharing their opinions on a comment made by couples therapist Lori Gottlieb when she appeared on the show.

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The psychotherapist and author joined the Dragons' Den star on his podcast to talk all things relationships back in March of this year.

And as you can imagine, the topic of who should pick up the tab on a date ended up rearing its head.

Lori Gottlieb revealed who she thinks should pick up the bill on a date (YouTube/Diary of A CEO)
Lori Gottlieb revealed who she thinks should pick up the bill on a date (YouTube/Diary of A CEO)

Gottlieb explained that over the years, she has noticed a dramatic shift in a lot of her male patients, saying that a lot of them aren't sure about 'how to be a man in today's world'.

"It used to be much more clear," the expert said. "I'm not saying that was a good thing, because there were all kinds of power dynamics that weren't so healthy for men and women.

"But I think now what men are saying is, 'Maybe I don't want to be the person solely responsible...I would like my partner to also bring in some income'."

Gottlieb reckons a lot of people think that paying on a date isn't merely just reimbursing a restaurant for your grub anymore, but instead believe it has to 'mean something'.

She told Bartlett: "I think a lot of people would say, 'Oh well, it means that you expect something back from me - you expect we're going to have sex or whatever'.

"It's not so important that we know what it means, it's more important that we know what it means to the person that we are interested in.

"It's going to mean something different to everybody, so if we can't talk to this person that we're interested in about what it means, then both people are going to be mired in confusion."

Bartlett confessed he doesn't tend to let his other half pay for things (YouTube/Diary of A CEO)
Bartlett confessed he doesn't tend to let his other half pay for things (YouTube/Diary of A CEO)

Essentially, the couples therapist says that if you believe your decision about who gets the bill has some strings attached to it, you should discuss this at the dinner table.

Bartlett then confessed he was a hopeless romantic who 'opens up every door and pays every bill' for his other half, before enquiring about his guest's dating history.

He asked Gottlieb whether a guy asking to split the bill on a first date would be a 'turn off' for her - and her response has ruffled quite a few feathers.

The Dear Therapist columnist said: "That would be a huge ick for me, yes.

"It's hard to articulate because - and this is what women of all ages will say - I think we grew up with that as the expectation.

"I think for younger generations, maybe it's not the expectation, but I think a lot of people still like it or want it.

"There's something about it that that says, 'I really valued our time together, I care, I'm interested'. It's a way of signalling interest.

"But I think even if the person isn't interested and you're never going to see each other again, it's just a nice gesture."

Some viewers were supportive of her stance on the issue, with one saying it was the 'bare minimum' for a bloke to pay on the first date.

One wrote: "Great interview. I agree with Lori 100%!"

Another said: "I'm 38-years-old and I agree with Lori. If the guy does not pay on the first date for me, its over."

But not everyone was in agreement with the psychotherapist, and just couldn't believe people are still banging on about who pays on a first date.

One viewer commented: "The 'paying the bill' is cultural, I’m Dutch & my husband is German. In our culture the person who asked the other pays or the highest earner/person that can miss it most easily.

"Splitting is also common and an expected question, it just isn’t that big of a deal in our cultures."

Another said: "The problem is we are making romantic relationships transactional instead of focusing on creating true friendship."

While a third chimed in: "I'm a woman and I would never take advice from a therapist who believes that men should pay for the privilege of dating a woman. Brutal take."

Gottlieb went onto say she realises it is 'very expensive' to date these days, but believes a lot of women want and expect men to take the hit.

What do you reckon?

Featured Image Credit: YouTube/Diary of a CEO

Topics: Sex and Relationships, Money, Dating trends, YouTube

Olivia Burke
Olivia Burke

Olivia is a journalist at LADbible Group with more than five years of experience and has worked for a number of top publishers, including News UK. She also enjoys writing food reviews (as well as the eating part). She is a stereotypical reality TV addict, but still finds time for a serious documentary.

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@livburke_

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