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Therapist explains how to spot signs of 'quiet quitting' in the bedroom that could be ruining your sex life

Home> Community

Updated 11:13 12 Feb 2025 GMTPublished 10:59 12 Feb 2025 GMT

Therapist explains how to spot signs of 'quiet quitting' in the bedroom that could be ruining your sex life

There are four straightforward ways to improve your relationship and time in the bedroom, according to therapist Leigh Norén

Joshua Nair

Joshua Nair

A sex expert has explained a new trend called 'quiet quitting', which could spell trouble for your relationship.

While you may have heard of the term at work, where it means that someone is doing the bare minimum in their role, the same principles apply when it comes to your partner.

After speaking to a number of British couples, experienced sex therapist Leigh Norén says she's been made her aware of the issues around sex in long-term relationships.

"Many couples are still having sex, but it’s done with a lack of enthusiasm, or worse, it’s something they do out of obligation," she explained.

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A lack of action can lead to an unhappy relationship (Getty Stock Image)
A lack of action can lead to an unhappy relationship (Getty Stock Image)

Leigh added that 'a genuine connection' is missing in a lot of relationships, for a number of reasons.

Speaking to Surrey Live, she said sex can become 'a transactional act' instead of an intimate experience, and that unresolved issues and a lack of communication can result in a lack of interest when it comes to intimacy.

Excuses like being too tired, or putting sex off for one reason or another, could lead to someone in the relationship 'quiet quitting' to the point of there being no intimacy at all.

People in this situation can perceive sex as being 'stressful', or as a sign that there may be deeper rooted problems in the relationship.

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So if your partner seems distracted during intimacy, or if your own needs are being ignored, Leigh has provided some tips on how to remedy the issue and re-engage your partner.

While other experts have provided tips on improving your sex life, these points may also help you work on your relationship as a whole.

The therapist says there are some sure-fire ways to improve your relationship (Getty Stock Image)
The therapist says there are some sure-fire ways to improve your relationship (Getty Stock Image)

Communication is key

It seems like a no-brainer, but to get that fire back in bed, you need to be open when communicating.

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According to the therapist, creating a safe space to speak about desires and concerns without any push-back is important. In addition, honest conversations with your partner can help you both to rediscover intimacy between one another.

Setting time aside for 'check-ins' with them to talk about your relationship and sex life is recommended by Leigh, so you can address what's working and what's not.

Importance of emotional intimacy

It's key to remember that sex isn't all physical, as the emotional connection is just as important and can help to make the physical connection feel even better.

Quality time being spent together can help this and enhances your healthy relationship, Leigh explains.

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Little things can be more effective here rather than grand gestures, whether it be a new hobby or speaking honestly about your feelings and goals for the future.

Putting in extra effort to connect with your partner could improve intimacy (Getty Stock Image)
Putting in extra effort to connect with your partner could improve intimacy (Getty Stock Image)

Spice things up in the sheets

In terms of sex, the therapist claims a quick fix can be to change things up in the bedroom, whether that be new positions, settings, or even role-play.

This can help you both to enjoy the journey of sexual exploration together and keep things fresh.

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Spontaneity might be your best friend here, whether it be a surprise date or trying something new in a place away from home, it's also important that your partner wants to try it out as well before giving it a shot.

Prioritising each other's pleasure

When one partner feels ignored sexually, it can be a huge mood killer so putting in effort to prioritise each other's pleasure can produce the best results.

Simply asking your partner what they like, what feels good, and what gets them in the mood will significantly improve the experience for you both, Leigh explains.

This can result in a deeper emotional connection and the expert says that taking time to discover what works by communicating can improve intimacy.

Featured Image Credit: Getty Stock Image

Topics: Community, Sex and Relationships, Dating trends

Joshua Nair
Joshua Nair

Joshua Nair is a journalist at LADbible. Born in Malaysia and raised in Dubai, he has always been interested in writing about a range of subjects, from sports to trending pop culture news. After graduating from Oxford Brookes University with a BA in Media, Journalism and Publishing, he got a job freelance writing for SPORTbible while working in marketing before landing a full-time role at LADbible. Unfortunately, he's unhealthily obsessed with Manchester United, which takes its toll on his mental and physical health. Daily.

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@joshnair10

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