Therapist explains how to spot signs of 'quiet quitting' in the bedroom that could be ruining your sex life
A sex expert has explained a new trend called 'quiet quitting', which could spell trouble for your relationship.
While you may have heard of the term at work, where it means that someone is doing the bare minimum in their role, the same principles apply when it comes to your partner.
After speaking to a number of British couples, experienced sex therapist Leigh Norén says she's been made her aware of the issues around sex in long-term relationships.
"Many couples are still having sex, but it’s done with a lack of enthusiasm, or worse, it’s something they do out of obligation," she explained.
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Leigh added that 'a genuine connection' is missing in a lot of relationships, for a number of reasons.
Speaking to Surrey Live, she said sex can become 'a transactional act' instead of an intimate experience, and that unresolved issues and a lack of communication can result in a lack of interest when it comes to intimacy.
Excuses like being too tired, or putting sex off for one reason or another, could lead to someone in the relationship 'quiet quitting' to the point of there being no intimacy at all.
People in this situation can perceive sex as being 'stressful', or as a sign that there may be deeper rooted problems in the relationship.
So if your partner seems distracted during intimacy, or if your own needs are being ignored, Leigh has provided some tips on how to remedy the issue and re-engage your partner.
While other experts have provided tips on improving your sex life, these points may also help you work on your relationship as a whole.
Communication is key
It seems like a no-brainer, but to get that fire back in bed, you need to be open when communicating.
According to the therapist, creating a safe space to speak about desires and concerns without any push-back is important. In addition, honest conversations with your partner can help you both to rediscover intimacy between one another.
Setting time aside for 'check-ins' with them to talk about your relationship and sex life is recommended by Leigh, so you can address what's working and what's not.
Importance of emotional intimacy
It's key to remember that sex isn't all physical, as the emotional connection is just as important and can help to make the physical connection feel even better.
Quality time being spent together can help this and enhances your healthy relationship, Leigh explains.
Little things can be more effective here rather than grand gestures, whether it be a new hobby or speaking honestly about your feelings and goals for the future.
Spice things up in the sheets
In terms of sex, the therapist claims a quick fix can be to change things up in the bedroom, whether that be new positions, settings, or even role-play.
This can help you both to enjoy the journey of sexual exploration together and keep things fresh.
Spontaneity might be your best friend here, whether it be a surprise date or trying something new in a place away from home, it's also important that your partner wants to try it out as well before giving it a shot.
Prioritising each other's pleasure
When one partner feels ignored sexually, it can be a huge mood killer so putting in effort to prioritise each other's pleasure can produce the best results.
Simply asking your partner what they like, what feels good, and what gets them in the mood will significantly improve the experience for you both, Leigh explains.
This can result in a deeper emotional connection and the expert says that taking time to discover what works by communicating can improve intimacy.
Topics: Community, Sex and Relationships, Dating trends
Joshua Nair