Psychotherapist reveals the ‘real’ main reason people cheat that they can’t do much to change
An expert has revealed the deep-rooted reasons why people cheat, and why the rest of us are so 'fascinated' by affairs.
It's said that one in five people have had an affair in their lifetime but if we're being honest the true figures are probably far higher. After all, it's not something people easily admit to.
While it's unlikely that you'll ever be able to find out the true reason behind someone cheating, relationship experts and often TikTok stars who want to go viral by offering advice have long been searching for the answer.
The list of signs to show that your partner is cheating seemingly grows every single day, with some even suggesting someone's job could be a warning sign they could be unfaithful.
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But if you ask me, usually these problems stem from a lack of communication and trust. Either that or you're just dating a d**k.
Now fortunately I don't speak from any experience on this topic, but it's perfectly understandable why someone who has been cheated on would want to know why, especially if it's a stupid reason so you can forget about them and move on.
However, it might not be as easy to blame someone for their affair if you believe psychotherapist Juliet Rosenfield, who in her new book Affairs reveals that it could simply be part of our DNA.
"For many people, affairs are as hardwired in their DNA as fidelity," writes Rosenfeld in the book. "What’s rarely understood is that the roots of most affairs are there decades before two people meet. Yes, decades.
"The reasons are locked in our infancy and childhood. That is, in the past not the present."
She adds: "Seeing otherwise sensible people misbehave is one of the reasons why affairs are so fascinating to onlookers. Especially when sex is involved.
"These stories remind us of our own potential to do things we shouldn’t. Who has not fantasised about sex with someone who is not a partner?"
She concludes: "I cannot emphasise enough that the central motivations for affairs relate to our own infantile, forgotten selves.
"Without adequate caregiving and interest early on, we try to seek emotional and physical reassurance and stimulation in a myriad ways throughout life. Having an affair is one way."
Juliet's book, which was released this year after five years of writing, tells the story of five different people's affairs.
It must be noted that if you cheat on your partner and tell them that your DNA is to blame, they'll probably start throwing things.
Topics: Science
James Moorhouse