Relationship expert reveals how to tell if your partner is 'micro-cheating'

Ah, the season of love. The time couples flood Instagram with gushing posts and others remain insistent they ‘love themselves’ more.

But it could also be a harsh reminder of the exes who wronged you, perhaps they were a cheat, a liar, a ‘quiet quitter’ or simply just a bad egg.

And annoyingly, it isn’t always so easy to spot them nowadays thanks to the more subtle forms of betrayal.

Luckily though, a relationship expert is helping you out in being a bit of a detective in your own love life, as she reveals how to tell if your partner is ‘micro-cheating’.

Psychotherapist Deborah Krevalin specialises in helping couples communicate productively. Dabbling in content creation, she also shares advice TikToks like this where she lays out the signs we should be keeping an eye out for.

What is micro-cheating?

"Traditional cheating is clear cut, the behaviour is disrespectful, dishonest and quite honestly unfair," Krevalin explained. "With micro-cheating, it's a little bit more under the radar and subtle."

Although your other half might not have done the dirty on you, their behaviour doesn't exactly equate to that of a loyal partner.

There might not have been any physical acts, but these small actions of betrayal can soon cause your relationship to hit the rocks.

Married at First Sight's Mel Schilling also previously explained a micro-cheater is a 'person who is emotionally or physically focused on someone outside their relationship'.

How do micro-cheaters operate?

Culprits may not see a problem with their overly flirty behaviour because they aren’t following through physically, but that’s exactly what this is all about.

For example, these kinds of love rats might browse through dating apps every now and again, send a few saucy text messages, chat up someone online or hide their relationship status.

Krevalin said: "It's text messaging, private conversations using social medias, pictures and messages - but at the end of the day, the intention is the same.

"It is a blatant betrayal."

Signs of micro-cheating

There are apparently a few red flags which could indicate your significant other is up to no good.

Krevalin continued: "If your partner is being a little bit secretive, reluctant to hand their phone over, there's a chance they could be a micro-cheater... just something to think about."

Relationship boffin Susan Winter also encourages keeping an eye out for how your partner interacts with others, and if it makes you feel uncomfortable, she advises you to address the issue head-on.

She explained the best way to deal with a potential micro-cheater is by having a diplomatic conversation about your concerns.

How common is micro-cheating?

Although you might not have heard of it, a glance at the comments on Krevalin's TikTok will give you a good idea about how prevalent it is.

Plenty seem to agree that technology has made it even easier to go behind people’s backs.

One user said: "He swears that messaging women on Facebook is not cheating because he did not physically do anything."

Another wrote: "Yup that was my ex-wife. That's why she's my ex-wife."

A third added: "It's blatant disrespect. Take it from someone who has 'just messaged [someone who is] just 'a friend'. Before I knew it, things got out of hand."

However, it's important not to panic and instantly presume your other half is up to no good if they suddenly start acting a bit shifty - there could be a simple explanation.

That's why you're best getting all of your concerns out in the open as soon as they crop up.