Therapists explain exact moment they know couples relationships are doomed as ‘affair mode’ phone setting exposed
In life, a lot of people are blindsided by break ups and believe there isn't any rhyme or reason to the downfall of their relationship.
But these experts who specialise in couples counselling would vehemently disagree - as after years of helping folks through their dating dilemmas, they've picked up on a few key signs.
Some people are more subtle than others when it comes to disguising their lack of love, but according to these lot, you ought to brace for a stay in the heartbreak hotel if you spot any of these red flags.
According to these relationship buffs, experts can easily tell when couples are 'doomed' after sitting down with them for a short period of time.
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Although some of us don't even know we are doing it, folks who are mentally checked out of their relationship tend to show it through their body language, general behaviour and what comes out of their mouths.
Still, some people just simply don't have the heart to tell their significant other that they're just not that into them.
But this brings about a whole host of new problems - as in these cases, the person who is emotionally detached from the romance might start deploying sneaky tactics.
For example, an individual might have heard about switching the settings on their phone so that it is in 'affair mode'.
This essentially means that they dodge digital detection by hiding things in the online realm that could arouse suspicion.
One woman told how she caught her partner turning 'disappearing messages' on his chats so there wasn't a paper trail of his cheating, while others might cleverly cover up dating apps to keep their infidelity quiet.
There are a number of signs you can keep an eye out for that might suggest your other half's phone is in 'affair mode' - but on some occasions, you might just be better cutting your losses.
According to a host of couples counsellors, some relationships are simply doomed and not worth fighting for.
It's important to note that these lot have seen and heard it all after spending countless hours hashing out problems that commonly impact romantic partners...so they are speaking from a wealth of experience.
Several different therapists who have a knack for assisting those struggling with affairs of the heart have shared a few of the signs you should look out for that suggest your love life is likely going nowhere.
Four specific behaviours
A host of counsellors referenced 'The Gottman Institute’s Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse', which are four communication styles that suggest the end of your relationship is near.
These include criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling - and experts say that if you're encountering these on a regular basis, it is probably time to pack your bags.
Sex and relationship therapist Rachel Seymour told Cosmopolitan: "These are all usually visible from the early stages of attending couples therapy, and once a couple is exhibiting these signs, it is very hard to come back from it. "Although it’s not impossible if both parties are willing to put in the work."
Obvious resentment
Another relationship guru named Helen Mayor explained that if you're other half is constantly dishing out 'brutal' digs and appears 'callous, uncaring', there's no point trying to breathe new life into it.
The integrative psychosexual and relationship psychotherapist suggested that this is often a sign that one person feels as though there partner is an 'object in their path', rather than a person they want to build their life with.
Not sharing responsibility
As they say, it takes two to tango - so if one person seems to be shouldering the brunt of all the relationship aggravation, it probably isn't a great partnership.
The Undateables dating coach Cate Mackenzie reckons that if one person 'dominates the other and won’t look at change', while the other is 'passive-aggressive and won’t open up', it's a recipe for disaster.
Different love language
If you just can't agree on how you want your relationship to go, it's probably a sign that you aren't that compatible.
Relationship expert Yau told Cosmopolitan that it's 'no ones fault', but sometimes the problems at hand are just 'not necessarily something you can work through'.
"You’re different people, you want different things, and you deserve to find people who want the same things that you do," she said.
Topics: Dating trends, Sex and Relationships, Community
Olivia Burke