Signs your partner is cheating on you as ‘affair mode’ phone setting all cheats use is exposed
When cheating in a relationship is discovered there are often several things that begin to make much more sense in hindsight, warning signs not picked up on because without the context that one's nearest and dearest is being unfaithful it just looks a little odd.
Looking back the red flags might seem clear, but when you've donned the rose-tinted glasses of a relationship you don't always spot the warnings.
Others might realise that something which aroused their suspicion before was indeed the sign of a cheating partner, and there are plenty of people who say they know what the signs of cheating are.
In 2022 a team of researchers published a study identifying 53 different strategies cheaters used, and the 11 most common ways they tried to hide their disloyalty.
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Several of these involve technology in some way, since people increasingly can't be separated from their phones and what better device is there to arrange an illicit affair?
There's a series of phone settings referred to as 'affair mode', combining various strategies to avoid digital detection.
As part of this bundle there's the 'disappearing messages' setting that some messaging apps like WhatsApp use, where the messages you sent can be set to delete themselves after a set period of time so even if you did scroll through the evidence would be gone.
Tech expert Kim Komando told the Daily Mail about the other settings cheaters used to create 'affair mode' on their phones, including secret apps disguised to look like something else more innocent.
She mentioned apps like Calculator Pro+, Calculator Vault, and Secret Calculator which look like a standard calculator setting on your phone but with a special code it unlocks information that's being kept hidden.
Locked chats are another warning sign, where exchanges of messages can't even be seen unless the phone owner's face is staring at the screen, while apps that are still on the phone but have been removed from the home screen are another cause for concern.
The signs your partner is cheating on you
The researchers might have found 53 strategies, but they whittled it down to 11 of the most common tactics cheaters use, and they also found 70 percent of philandering partners would deploy more than one of the methods at once.
A sudden spike of interest
Your partner who might have been drifting away from you is suddenly taking a big interest in your life.
What plans do you have? Where are you going? How long do you think you'll be staying out? So you won't be back until 10:30?
Unfortunately this sudden interest in you and what you're doing might be them trying to clear the way for their own cheating time without you even realising it.
Wiping away the digital footprint
Remember what we were saying about the 'affair mode' and messaging apps with disappearing messages? This is one of the possible reasons why they have it on.
Burner accounts
If they're scared you might see their phone or email then they'll get another one you don't know about.
That other web browser on their phone they never use? Perhaps it's for this burner email address.
Password Protection
If they don't want anyone else getting into their devices then expect them to have that s**t on lockdown with passwords, face IDs and anything which means you can't get into their phone without them.
On the other hand tell me someone whose phone doesn't have this stuff these days.
Calculated cover stories
They're out with the guys from work, they're going to the gym, they've got that thing with that friend they've been planning for ages.
Many cheaters put a lot of work into making sure their stories seem like reasonable explanations.
A new friend approaches
You've been hearing about someone new in their life a few times, they might keep mentioning a new colleague from work.
Perhaps this person is on their mind a lot for a different reason, or maybe Fred from the office really is just a very interesting guy.
'Short and sweet' affairs
The longer a lie goes on the harder it is to maintain it, and the tougher it is to keep the relationship they were already in going.
The researchers found most cheaters had a string of partners instead of one long-term person.
They act 'too normal'
So concerned is the cheater about being discovered that they put more effort into making sure they seem normal in their existing relationship.
That way if there are other signs which arouse suspicion they have a cloak for their cheating.
Friends are alibis
Linked to the cover story strategy, they'll get by with a little help from their friends.
Getting by in this context means f**king someone else, by using visiting their friends as their excuse.
Calm, collected and distant
Rather the opposite strategy to suddenly being more interested in your life, this form of cheater suddenly has a new hobby which takes up more of their time and they don't ask you how your life is going in the hope you won't ask them in turn.
Creature of habit
Many of the strategies and signs here are deviations from your partner's normal behaviour, so some cheaters try and do the opposite.
Like acting 'too normal', this lot stick to their routine and don't make big life changes, hoping you won't spot the major one they've already made.
Topics: Lifestyle, Community, Sex and Relationships
Joe Harker