15 happy couples shared how often they really had sex together
How often you have sex is completely up to you, but a lot of people firmly believe frequent intimacy is the foundation of a healthy relationship.
For some reason, a lot of folks are obsessed with putting a number on it and seem to think the success of their romance depends on them hitting an imaginary quota.
But after reading what these happy couples had to say about how regularly they roll around in the sheets, it might make you realise that everybody really is different.
Even relationship experts like Charlene Douglas can't help you answer what a 'normal' amount of sexual intercourse is - and although you can get a gauge from statistics, it varies for everyone.
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She previously pointed out that the amount usually 'goes up and down' and depends on a variety of different factors, such as stress, libido and conflicting schedules.
This point was further demonstrated when 15 couples - who are each in happy, fulfilling relationships - revealed how much sex they were having.
Take Jamie and Sarah for example, who have been together for eight years and are content with having sex once a week - but say their lovemaking heavily depends on 'how busy our lives are'.
The pair, who are both 32, told Stylist: "In hectic periods, it might not be for a couple of weeks, but other times we’ll have sex a few times a week. It averages out!"
Then there's Rosanna, 38, and Naz, 49, who have been together for 21 years - but couldn't say a number, as the 'frequency changes' depending on their mood, work and various other elements.
On the other hand, a couple who have been together for the last 13 years - Rachel, 31, and Mahmoud, 31 - say they get it on between two to four times a week.
"The amount of sex we have has really varied over the years - we’ve had periods when we’ll only have sex a couple of times a month," they said, but explained this has never made them question their love for one another.
"We’ve never seen a ‘dead bedroom’ as a sign to give up on our relationship, as the other bits have been there," they added.
"But it’s obviously great to come out of the other end of that situation and be in a place where sex is fun and exciting again."
Ocean, 25, and Matthew, 27, said they typically stick to once a week - and they also track what 'type' of sex they have after being together for three and a half years.
Whereas Alyssa, 27, and Laurence, 31, confessed they only get frisky once every six months, as she 'completely lost her sex drive' as a side effect of taking antidepressants.
Thankfully though, her partner has 'never made her feel uncomfortable about it', but she admitted she does 'feel guilty' that they don't have sex as often as they used to.
Alex, 24, and Miriam, 23, have been together for one and a half years and say 'two is the minimum' - but this figure can go up or down, depending on how their weeks are going.
Another couple, Leah, 30, and David, 30, said the amount they have sex 'fluctuates dramatically' depending on her menstrual cycle and how busy they are in life.
The pair, who have been together for 13 years, revealed they usually have sex between once a fortnight and once a month.
'It's about finding your own groove'
Similarly, Jessy, 32, and Steven, 46, also stick to around once every four weeks - but that's because their 'schedules just don't seem to align' at the minute.
"I know we should make more effort, and it’s something that plays on my mind, but it isn’t a reflection of the love we have for one another," they said, while noting that they've been together for seven years.
Rhys, 27, and Harrison, 30, told how they have been together for three years and have sex once a fortnight, but also spice things up with 'intimate fun' once or twice a week too.
"There is a lot of external pressure about how often couples ‘should’ have sex, but it really means nothing," they said. "It’s about finding your own groove and not comparing yourself to others. We have never been happier."
Flo, 40, and Ben, 40, got together 14 years ago and said their sex life 'comes in peaks and troughs', as being parents to two young kids obviously takes priority.
Still, the pair 'make a conscious effort to be intimate' whenever they can.
Elizabeth, 59, and Aaliyah, 54, have been together for 18 months and said they get intimate more than four times a week - and this could be either long hours of lovemaking, or 'quicker sessions'.
Every two months is what works for Mia, 36, and Gil, 34, who have been together for six years.
Becoming parents had a 'huge impact' on their sex life, but they said they 'know this stage won't last forever', explaining: "It’s really important not to freak out about it and to maintain intimacy in other ways – kissing, non-sexual touch and making sure we spend a bit of time together every day."
Meanwhile, Kitty, 33, and Dan, 34, have been in a relationship for 12 years and have sex once a month - and describe their relationship as 'delicious and comfortable'.
"Being ourselves with one another feels so intimate that sex often takes a back seat to evenings spent chatting and enjoying long cuddle sessions," they said. "When we do have sex, we often think, 'God, we should do that more often'. But we never do - which I think is a solid sign that how often we have sex is right for us."
'We find time for intimacy in other ways'
Then there's Priya, 31, and Kwame, 36, who have been together for 10 years and have sex once every two months - and they say that they've 'always prioritised quality over quantity'.
"I’m chronically unwell, which means I don’t have much energy for sex every week," Priya explained. "If we’re on holiday, we have sex way more, but on a day-to-day basis, when we’re both so busy and stressed at work, it’s something we don’t think about much. We’re still very happy and find time for intimacy in other ways, though."
Lastly, there's Morgan, 28, and Scott, 28, who have been together for 10 years and have sex once or twice a week.
Although they acknowledge they 'had sex a lot more frequently in the early days', the pair don't think that having less of it has impacted their relationship in any way.
"I’m currently pregnant with our first child, and that makes things even harder as I’m so tired all the time," Morgan said. "We’re very affectionate, which I think helps make up for the fact that we can’t always have as much sex as we’d like. I have worried in the past if we have sex ‘enough’, but then I think about how happy we are and how strong our relationship is, and I worry less."
They don't say different strokes for different folks for nothing, you know.
Topics: Sex and Relationships, Dating trends, Community
Olivia Burke