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​What An Adult-Baby-Diaper-Lover Relationship Is Really Like

​What An Adult-Baby-Diaper-Lover Relationship Is Really Like

Jess believes 'no one is defined by their kinks', and that while many struggle to understand, it's actually more 'normal' than they think

Jess Hardiman

Jess Hardiman

As an 'adult baby', 23-year-old Jess doesn't necessarily lead the life that many people can relate to, regressing to childhood with giant dummies, diapers, baby-grows and toys.

On her YouTube channel, which has more than 160,000 subscribers, Jess regularly posts videos about her life as an adult baby and a 'little' - including insight to everything from her bedtime routine and her nursery at home through to clothing hauls and her relationship with her boyfriend, Stephen.

Binkie Princess

But Jess also believes that 'no one is defined by their kinks', and that while many people may struggle to comprehend her lifestyle, it's actually more 'normal' than they might think.

"During the day, I'll just be me - normal, adult me," she told LADbible.

"I work full time, I do my YouTube channel, streaming and other stuff like that. I have my own website, and then I also have other hobbies. I like to do art, I like to sing - just normal things.

"That's one of the biggest misconceptions, with people telling me that I'm not an adult - I don't have a job, I think I'm a baby, I don't do anything, I can't take care of myself, but a lot of the time I'm very independent. I can cook my own meals, I drive, I do laundry, I dress myself, I take care of myself."

Instead, her interest in the Adult Baby/Diaper Lover (ABDL) lifestyle is more of an added element to her day-to-day routine - as well as an extra part of her relationship.

"I've been with my current boyfriend now for almost a year. It's definitely a lot different to my previous relationship because I have a boyfriend now who actually cares about it like I do. It is a daily thing, but it's not an all-day constant.

"When we're not interacting in that way, we have a perfectly normal, healthy relationship. Obviously there's more to it than just that - I don't think anyone could stay in a relationship based off of just one thing.

Binkie Princess

"It provides an extra dynamic for us, and it's more of a comfort thing. It's nice to have someone care for you and do it purely because they want to and enjoy it.

"And he likes the trust that I put into him, he likes being able to care for me, he likes the vulnerability that I'm willing to give him. It makes him feel needed and special.

"So it's kind of give and take. It's perfect in a way, because what he wants to give me I want to take from him, and vice versa."

Binkie Princess

Jess has said that while she gets a lot of support from the online community, she does often have to defend both herself and her boyfriend.

She continued: "I've had people say that he's abusive, or they say that he's sick for wanting a girlfriend that acts like I do because then he probably imagines me as an actual kid - which is disgusting.

"They say like 'Oh he's a paedophile, I wouldn't leave him alone with my kid'.

"The whole appeal to people with ADBL or DDLG dynamics or anything like that is that you are an adult and you're submitting your control so totally to this dominant person, that you're making yourself as vulnerable as a child.

"It's just like, 'Oh, you're trusting me so much that you're willing to regress to such a vulnerable stage'. That's what is appealing to him. That you're basically submitting entirely."

Binkie Princess

Jess is also a survivor of past sexual abuse, but is eager to not connect that area of her past from her current interests.

"Yes I do have that kind of past trauma, but at the same time I feel like even if that didn't happen I would still be doing this," she said.

"I don't feel like I'm doing this to cope. I never really think about it. It's not this healing thing because this is just what I do with my life.

"I mean, I'm not going to sit there and say that there definitely isn't some kind of link - but it's also not to say that everyone who does this does so because they were abused and are coping with it.

"There are people in this community who have great parents, great family life and have never had issues, and they are still doing it so it's like I just don't want to perpetuate the idea that you have to have actual daddy issues to be into this."

Binkie Princess

Jess believes that, while the online ABDL/DDLG community has helped normalise the culture, it's not without its problems.

"The thing about it that's not so great is that some of them are under 18 trying to be in these relationships - which is very illegal," she said.

"We're all trying to educate people and say, 'If you're not of legal age, you're not able to legally consent to BDSM. It's dangerous.

"And there's also lots of creepy people - my inbox is a mess.

"I know it's something I did to myself by being online on such a big scale, but I'm trying to use my platform to show that it could literally be any of your friends. It could be anyone that's secretly this way. You wouldn't know because we're just normal people that have this extra interest.

"No one is defined by their kinks. Your kink is all that you are as a human? No, that's ridiculous."

Featured Image Credit: Binkie Princess