Woman Eats Squid. Squid Tries To 'Get Her Tongue Pregnant'
Squid are amazing creatures, aren't they? They have three hearts, can squirt ink as self-defence, some glow in the dark, and some species can grow up to 13 metres long.
They reproduce by leaving their spermatophore (basically a sack full of sperm) on a young female which she'll turn into hundreds of baby squid when she's good and ready.
They're also delicious, especially when battered and deep-fried and dunked in garlic mayo, with a squeeze of lemon, oh and with some patatas bravas on the side, and chorizo, and... wait. Sorry. Where was I?
Right. Yeah. Squid sperm. Okay.
So that spermatophore, which is supposed to be deposited onto a female squid, has in this case found its way onto a human tongue instead.
The tongue belongs to a 63-year-old Korean woman, who was tucking into her dinner when she felt something weird going on in her mouth.
She was consuming raw squid and felt a sudden sharp pain that prompted her to spit out her food.
Seeking medical attention, it turned out that her tongue and gums had been inseminated by the squid's sperm.
You heard. The squid deposited his swimmers DIRECTLY INTO HER MOUTH AND THEY TRIED TO IMPREGNATE HER TONGUE.
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This has all come from a case study in the Journal of Parasitology.
Doctors reportedly found "12 small, white spindle-shaped, bug-like" sperm bags in her mouth.
The report explained: "As soon as she put a piece into her mouth, she felt like many 'bugs' were biting her oral mucosa.
"She experienced severe sharp pain and spat out the entire portion without swallowing.
"Despite that, she could feel many small squirming white bug-like organisms penetrating her."
The internal organs of the squid hadn't been removed, and parboiling it for just a few seconds before eating it did nothing to kill off the wrigglers.
It's believed she's made a full recovery (though probably not in a rush to eat squid again).
The study warned: "Consumption of a squid with sperm bags and an active ejaculatory apparatus can lead to unintended ejection of the sperm bag and injury to the oral mucosa."
The squid in question is the Todarodes Pacificus, better known as the Japanese Flying Squid. It was always one of our favourite species of squid because of its ridiculous habit of flying 30m above the water. Not any more. Least favourite species of squid after this behaviour.
Featured Image Credit: Nickelodeon