Therapist warns alarming bedroom phone habit could ruin your relationship

A therapist has let out a warning over a bedroom habit which could end up scuppering your relationship, and of course it's those damn phones which are to blame again.

You might have heard of 'phubbing', the dating trend which is a portmanteau of the words 'phone' and 'snubbing'.

It does exactly what it says on the tin, you snub your partner by being on your phone all the time to the point that it's the centre of your attention.

There's a human being right in front of you and you'd rather look at your phone, or you'll break off from interacting with aforementioned human being because your phone just pinged and that's suddenly the most important thing you have to attend to now.

Just look at them, another couple of months of this and he'll be sleeping in his car. (Luis Alvarez/Getty Images)

Phubbing sends potential romantic partners the message that they'll be playing second fiddle to your phone and your interest in them can be torn away at any moment by the mere vibration of your gadget.

Anyhow, now we're all up to speed on that again, the Huffington Post says that therapist Tracy Ross is warning that a development of phubbing is wrecking relationships.

While phubbing is one person ignoring another, Ross warned that couples are now doing something called 'parallel scrolling' where they'll be together but both scrolling through their phones.

She said: "Many of the couples I work with complain that their partner is constantly on their phone, distracted, and that it’s hard to get their attention.

"While the need to unwind at the end of the day is completely understandable, it’s hard to deny the damage it can do to a relationship."

Of particular concern is parallel scrolling in the bedroom, where couples will be in bed together but the other person may as well not be there as the attention span has completely been lost in a digital deluge of tweets and TikToks.

What came first, the moribund sex life or the scrolling on phones being the only bedroom action? (Getty Stock Photo)

The therapist said doing this was 'basically decreasing the chances of intimacy and affection' as it kills the connection between couples when the bond between partners is something that needs regular care and attention.

That's what can really kill a relationship these days, two people going to bed and phubbing together without a shred of intimacy.

Having a bit of a scroll on your phone is not going to be the end of the world but if it starts taking over your free time and life then it becomes a more significant problem.

Ross suggested that asking the question 'do we want to keep scrolling' could be a good, non-confrontational way to get out of being in bed together and fondling nothing but your phones.

Another alternative suggested is to get your partner interested in the thing you're looking at, so even if it's sharing an interesting fact from something you're reading or getting them to look at a funny TikTok (that they probably won't find as funny as you do), it's a way to interact with each other instead of in isolation.

Topics: Sex and Relationships, Phones, Dating trends

Joe Harker

Joe graduated from the University of Salford with a degree in Journalism and worked for Reach before joining the LADbible Group. When not writing he enjoys the nerdier things in life like painting wargaming miniatures and chatting with other nerds on the internet. He's also spent a few years coaching fencing. Contact him via [email protected]

@MrJoeHarker