Stormy Daniels Has Compared Donald Trump's Penis To Toad From Mario Kart
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Stormy Daniels has spoken out about what sex with Donald Trump is like, and she hasn't pulled any punches.
Spoiler alert: If don't want your childhood memories of Mario Karts to be decimated, don't read on. (If you always play as Luigi, you'll be cool).
Former pornstar Daniels has released all the truly gory details of her claimed intimate experience with the US President - even comparing his pork sword to Toad from Mario Kart. Can you hear that? It's childhood memories shattering.
The comparison - which highlights Daniels as a gamer - has come to light in the outlines of the couple's alleged sex session in her upcoming tell-all, Full Disclosure.
One extract, obtained by The Guardian, says: "He (Trump) knows he has an unusual penis. It has a huge mushroom head. Like a toadstool.
"I lay there, annoyed that I was getting fucked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart."
Think I'll stick to playing as Wario from now on.
But Daniels didn't stop there, after her career she's seen a lot of men's private parts and had nothing good to say about her times with the 72-year-old president.
She said: "It may have been the least impressive sex I'd ever had, but clearly, he didn't share that opinion."
Ouch, not good.
The book, that's set to be released on October 2, is said to have a whole bunch of shade aimed at the former Apprentice US star.
"I'm gonna write everything and include it and people can think what they want about me but at least it's the truth - it's not like that they haven't been thinking that about me anyway," she admitted during an appearance on US chat show The View.
Daniels is said to have met Trump at a celebrity golf tournament in Lake Tahoe back in 2006, by which point she had already achieved a level of success in the adult film industry.
Earlier in the year, Daniels did an interview with Vogue where she released some intimate details about her time with Trump.
She confessed it was 'morbid curiosity' that took her to Trump's hotel room, later explaining that her experience with him was 'normal person sex'.
"He was in his underwear and his shirt and he was like, 'Heeey... ' and I was like..."
Daniels said that it only lasted 'two minutes' - and that's if she was being generous.
"How many details can you really give about two minutes?" she added - considering there's now a tell-all book, looks like a lot.
Daniels was also at the centre of controversy in the UK when, after a blazing row with producers, she refused to enter the Celebrity Big Brother House.