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Archaeologists Uncover 21-Inch Penis Stone Used For Sacrificial Ceremonies

Archaeologists Uncover 21-Inch Penis Stone Used For Sacrificial Ceremonies

Archaeologists in Sweden have uncovered a 21-inch penis stone, believed to have been used in sacrificial fertility rituals.

The c**k rock was discovered during an excavation in Rollsbo near Gothenburg, and was initially thought to be a Bronze Age grave. However, further excavations revealed that there were lots of animal bones within close vicinity of the phallic stone, but no human bones.

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The stone is believed to have been used in sacrificial ceremonies. Credit: Archaeologists SHM
The stone is believed to have been used in sacrificial ceremonies. Credit: Archaeologists SHM

As such, researchers are now hypothesising that animals may have been ritualistically slaughtered at the site between 1800 and 500 BC.

Archaeologist Gisela Ängeby told local paper the Göteborgs-Posten that there was no doubting that the rock was c**k-like.

She said: "It has a distinct phallus shape. I thought when I came across it that 'oh my god it can't be true'.

"I showed the picture to colleagues and there is no discussion, it has a very penis-like shape.

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"I believe that in connection with the erection, it was used to offer sacrifices, for example within the framework of a fertility cult."

While to the immature among us (myself included), stones carved into the shape of penises are inherently funny, it's not actually that unusual for archaeologists to stumble across phallic symbols. However, even Ms Ängeby had to admit that this 21-incher is a bit 'special'.

It really is a very special find. Credit: Archaeologists SHM
It really is a very special find. Credit: Archaeologists SHM

She said: "Remaining stones in the middle of stone paving are not uncommon, neither are phallus symbols. But just the way it is designed is a little special. It is partially weathered and then processed. And that's how the shape has been reinforced."

Partially weathered and then processed, eh? That's a damn fine way to reinforce the shape of a penis stone.

Now the stone is going to be studied further in a bid to better understand how and when it was used, before being put on display in a museum.

But while this penis-shaped stone may well have served a very serious ceremonial duty back in the BC days, today carving out the shape of a shaft and two balls is ordinarily done as some form of mockery.

Last month, for example, a giant penis was mowed into a field under the Stansted Airport flight path to 'welcome' Donald Trump ahead of his state visit to the UK. It was cut by Born Eco alongside the message, 'Oi Trump'.

We've come a long way in the penis crafting department. Credit: Born Eco
We've come a long way in the penis crafting department. Credit: Born Eco

The eco-friendly online marketplace said on Twitter: "Guess who's been busy today mowing a stiff message for Trump under the Stansted flightpath... Please share and let's see how far we can spread the welcome!"

So there you have it, thousands of years on, the shape of a penis still forms an important societal function - just instead of using weathering to shape a c**k rock, we're using a machine to shape grass into a k**b shape so a world leader can see it from a plane in the sky.

... If only our BC brothers could see us now - they'd be so proud.

Featured Image Credit: Archaeologists SHM

Topics: News, World News, Funny, Interesting, Weird

Jake Massey

Jake Massey is a journalist at LADbible. He graduated from Newcastle University, where he learnt a bit about media and a lot about living without heating. After spending a few years in Australia and New Zealand, Jake secured a role at an obscure radio station in Norwich, inadvertently becoming a real-life Alan Partridge in the process. From there, Jake became a reporter at the Eastern Daily Press. Jake enjoys playing football, listening to music and writing about himself in the third person.

 

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