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Therapists reveal most common things people secretly hate about their partners

Therapists reveal most common things people secretly hate about their partners

People can often struggle to share their feelings, even with their partner, and secretly harbour resentments in their relationship.

We all have our bugbears when it comes to relationships - maybe your partner leaves the toilet seat up, won't take the bins out or spends far too long getting ready.

These are pretty generic squabbles that most couples have, which you may be familiar with yourself.

But there are some things that may be grinding your other half's gears, which they prefer to keep to themselves.

Two couples' therapists have now revealed the most common things that their clients secretly hate about their partners.

The list might come as no surprise to some people; but a host of Brits are reluctant to address these issues in their relationship.

So let's get into it.


One of the biggest points of contention couples face is their respective friend groups - and whether they like them or not.

Georgina Sturmer, of Counselling Directory, said this can often add 'extra stress and frustration' to your life.

She told Metro: "Perhaps you don’t really like the people who your partner hangs out with, or perhaps you don’t like the way that your partner behaves when they’re with their friends."

Well, we've all been there. But instead of sitting on your feelings, she says you need to communicate them to your beau.

"But make sure that your partner knows that you’re not blaming their friends, or criticising their choices," Georgina said.

She recommends trying to get to know their pals on a deeper level, or simply accept the fact you don't mix well with them.

Couples often keep quiet about some of their secret bugbears.
Getty stock images

Unheard feelings

Another common issue that rears its ugly head in relationships is sensing that you and your feelings are being dismissed.

Dr Charlotte Whiteley said this apparent lack of interest can lead to 'loneliness, disconnection, and a reduced sense of self-worth'.

She explained that your significant other is a 'key attachment figure' in your life, who needs to take interest and validate you.

To combat this, she suggests sitting down with your other half once a week to discuss your emotions - including what you think is going well and what isn't.

"Make sure you take it in turns to speak and listen, so that you do not get interrupted when you are voicing your feelings."

Sounds simple enough, right? OK, next up...

Love languages

We all have our own love languages - but as Georgina points out, we need to make these clear - as 'nobody is a mind-reader'.

She said: "Tune into what you think you need from your partner, and consider how you communicate this."

Addressing anger

Staying on the topic of emotions, you may find yourself despising your partner's response to certain situations.

Although anger is a 'primal emotion', Dr Charlotte explains that couples often run into trouble when tempers flare.

The therapists recommend keeping an open dialogue with your partner.
Getty stock images

She said when either one of you inevitably becomes angry, it is 'important to make space for it and listen'.

When the heat of the moment has passed, you can sit down and calmly discuss your emotions and understand the reasoning behind them.

Dr Charlotte suggested coming up with some 'strategies' such as taking a breather or heading on a walk, so that you can calm down instead of fighting fire with fire.

Money talks

Another popular pet peeve among lovers is their respective relationships with money. It's often the third person for many.

Although their credit score is the last thing on your mind when you're being wined and dined, financial compatibility is key.

Georgina urged people to have an open discussion about cash and take a look at how they could tweak their habits.





She explained: "There’s a practical element here about earnings, spending and budgeting.

"But we also have an emotional relationship with money. Be open about your finances and be open about how you feel about spending. Be proactive in figuring out how you need to manage your finances together."

The common denominator here is communication.
Getty / Catherine Falls Commercial

Social differences

To finish off, Dr Charlotte discussed how a couple's differing behaviour in social settings can spell trouble for them.

If one's a social butterfly and the other is more introverted, it can leave both parties feeling 'uncomfortable' in the presence of others.

The therapist said it's important to remember you need to be your other half's number one fan - especially if they're stumbling through an awkward moment.

She encouraged Brits to acknowledge their feelings about the situation, but also to keep in mind how 'hard and complicated' it can be to be confident.

As well as this, you should embrace your partner's quirks, warts and all - even if those in your company might not appreciate them.

Well that's not a lot to take in at all, is it?

Featured Image Credit: Getty stock images

Topics: Sex and Relationships, UK News