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When it comes to Christmas presents, arguably there's no tougher job than thinking of what to get for your other half. Your parents will be grateful for whatever you get them, because that's what parents are for, while there's way less pressure on gifts for siblings (if they don't like it, the worst you'll get is an eye roll or a quick punch in the arm). For Secret Santa you can get away with a shit calendar or novelty tie, and with mates all they really want is for you to get the next round in.
With your partner, it's a different story. It needs to be heartfelt, obviously pricey (but not too pricey) and ideally a bit funny to reflect just how hilarious you are. Enter the Wobbling Willy, a dildo that can feature your head on it, so that they can be reminded of you every time they, er, you know. D'awww.
Credit: Wobbling Willy
The 100 percent silicone-sculpted penis costs $88 (£65) and comes with a hand-sculpted 3D polymer clay model of your head on the end. All you have to do is send in a photo of yourself, and the company will turn your face into a 3D sculpture to pop on the end of the sex toy. It comes in a faux suede pouch, too, meaning it's kind of discrete but also classy as hell.
Plus, this one will not only score highly on sentimental points for your other half, it could also win top banter points with your mates or colleagues - as one Twitter user has pointed out.
So, who wants to send a "Wobbling Willy(tm)" to the white house with Trumps own head on it? We can also do one for Theresa May too.
- Paul Taylor (@ThePaul_T) September 30, 2017
Of course, make sure your pal's up for that kind of joke before you go ahead with this one. We're not sure Angela from Accounts can handle that one - it might not go down particularly well.
The only downside is that outside of the novelty factor of a 3D head, the dildo is fairly straightforward. No vibrating or pulsing, just a straight-up dildo. Well, you can't win 'em all, can you?
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