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Featured Image Credit: Kimberley Latham-Hawkesford
The dating scene is a minefield strewn with bailers, catfish and dick pics. As such, most of us have a first-date-from-hell story to pull out of the locker at the pub.
But one woman from Morecambe, UK, may have had the misfortune of dating the biggest prick of the lot - a prick so monumental, he sent her a list of 15 awful pointers three months on from their first and only disastrous date.
Kimberley Latham-Hawkesford, 24, matched the man - who for the sake of anonymity we will refer to as Wayne Kerr - on Tinder, and after a week or so of messaging, they decided to meet up.
The pair went for coffee at a local Costa and Kimberley said it went 'really well', so from there the date drove her to a pub in the Lake District for food.
But things soon took a nosedive, with Wayne asking Kimberley if she would have plastic surgery and suggesting places where she should shop before their next meeting.
The date was topped off horribly by Wayne Kerr kicking up a stink when Kimberley offered to pay, even showing her his bank balance on his phone (shudder).
Speaking to LADbible, Kimberely - who works at Aldi - said Wayne came across as 'a snob and just generally a horrible person' and that 'the date was just a disaster'.
But having moved on from the awful encounter, three months later Kimberley received an unexpected message from him.
The message began: "Hello Kimberley, I know we went on a date quite a while ago now but I'd like to explain why I haven't messaged you.
"I feel like you could have made the date much better, here's a few reasons why. I apologise if I offend you."
From there, Wayne reeled off a list of 15 pointers - which quite frankly render the 'if' in 'if I offend you' utterly unnecessary - starting out with a few comments on Kimberley's physical appearance.
He said: "If you lost some weight you would look incredible. Maybe a stone or so.
"You are very pale. I know you aren't a fan of the sun but a bit of fake tan wouldn't hurt.
"You have quite big boobs so you should show off your cleavage more.
"I think you need to wear clothes that suit your figure and maybe update your style slightly. Just so I'm not embarrassed to be seen with you."
From here, he starts to lay out his contradictory requests for Kimberley to appear more natural and use more cosmetics.
H continued: "You need to dye your hair a normal colour and add extensions. Longer hair is much more attractive.
"You need to look more natural, stop wearing make up. Just make yourself look decent but don't overkill it.
"Your lips have gone down so you should think of getting more filler. I know you said you regretted it but filler would make you sexier."
Then, after tearing Kimberley to shreds, Wayne Kerr had the audacity to tell her to be more confident and 'more sensitive to others' feelings'... Is that a fucking joke, Wayne?
He said: "You need so much more confidence, confidence is sexy!
"The fact you take things slow makes you look like a prude. I didn't get a kiss which messed with my ego. Be more sensitive to others' feelings.
"When we got food, I know you got a salad but having full fat coke is more calories you don't need."
Wayne continued in this vein, with his final five tips as Wayne Kerr-y as all the 10 before.
He added: "You need to keep your past to a minimum. I don't care about it and what you went through.
"Get a sense of humour, you didn't laugh at a single one of my jokes.
"You just seemed a bit stuck up. Sort your personality out.
"You made me feel shit when you offered to pay. It's like you thought I didn't have enough money after telling you how much is in my account.
"You didn't compliment me once."
Then at last, the cherry on top of the icing on the big fuck-off cake - another chance.
Wayne finished: "If you take these on board I might consider another date. I will give you a month and get back in touch to see if this made a difference. Good day to you Kimberly."
He even signed off by spelling her name wrong. Fucking hell, Wayne.
Kimberley said that based on her encounter with the guy, she interpreted the message to be serious, rather than one of his shit jokes.
She explained: "At first I was absolutely mortified and it killed my confidence, but the more I read it the funnier it became. I couldn't understand how a guy could say such things to a woman."
As for her feedback for Wayne Kerr, Kimberley kept it simple.
She said: "My only tip for him is to respect women as his behaviour is disgusting."
Yes, on behalf of Kimberley and the world - fuck off, Wayne Kerr.