Couples therapist issues warning after revealing top phone behaviours that 'kill marriages'

A couples therapist has shared the phone behaviours that could indicate a 'red flag' in your partner.

We've all heard the warnings around a significant other being shady and overly-private with their phones, but the answer is never to check it behind their back - that's an easy way to open a can of worms.

According to relationship experts, it's all about observing their behaviours in this case, but it's also worth noting that both people in a relationship can be guilty of using their phones too much, resulting in 'parallel scrolling' in bed.

This is when both people end up ignoring each other before sleeping, scrolling through social media on their own phones, effectively 'phubbing' (snubbing with phones) each other.

However, you may find yourself as the person on the receiving end of some phubbing with no idea on what to do next, or even how to tell if you're being phubbed and not overreacting to anything.

Therapist Jonathan, known on Instagram as @couplestherapywithjonathan, has shared some advice on what to look out for if you find yourself worrying.

Writing to his 163,000 followers in a post caption, he said: "Privacy is important to have in marriages - like when you go to the bathroom.

"But, watch out if it turns into secrecy cause secrecy kills marriages."

He then revealed that there are nine phone behaviours that him and his wife agreed would never happen in their marriage, though also added a disclaimer to explain that his rules aren't the be-all and end-all.

"Not saying you should follow our example - so you do you. But be reassured knowing that at least one other couple in the world isn’t putting up with these disheartening red flags," he explained, before breaking down the nine red flags he looks out for.

Refusing to share passwords

This is one of the giveaways, particularly in a long-term relationship, that could suggest that something is going on that they don't want you to see.

Constantly 'hiding their phone'

If you find your partner putting their phone away swiftly or slyly whenever you go near them, it may be a sign of them hiding something from you and it could be worth asking them why they do it.

Keeping their phone 'face down'

Obviously, notifications pop up on screens if your phone is facing up, and even if the exact messages are hidden on the lock screen, an influx of texts or Instagram messages could be enough to make your head spin.

'Turning away' from you while using their phone

Again, privacy is good on a level but constantly hiding what they're doing on their phone while they're with you can be an annoyance and a violation of trust if they are doing something shady.

Closing apps 'when you approach them'

This one is more of a giveaway, because they're essentially clearing their history so you can't trace where they've been or what they've been doing, and if they don't want to share when asked about it, it may be a red flag.

Changing passwords

Sharing passwords with you only to change it could signal something unpleasant, and a sign that they may not trust you to look into their accounts and apps.

Being weird about you using their phone

You may need to Google something and their phone is the closest by, but their reaction to you reaching for their phone may be unpredictable, as Jonathan says that for them, 'sometimes it’s okay, other times it’s met with a big reaction'.

Getting 'defensive' when asked about behaviours

If their first reaction is to get angry or defensive 'when asked about why privacy is so important', it's worth asking why that is, and why they would care so much about the topic.

'Suddenly' getting protective of their phone

If they usually are quite open with their phone usage and suddenly get very particular and 'protective' of their phone, there is probably a reason behind it and it could be a red flag.

Jonathan signed it off by asking followers to send the tips to 'someone who deserves to be in a honest and transparent relationship.'