Psychologist says there are 11 ways cheaters hide their affair
Finding out your partner is cheating can feel like the world is ending, but one expert has outlined the sneaky ways a partner may be getting away with it right under your nose.
Because cheating is so common, with a 2017 study reporting that 57 percent of men and 54 percent of women admitted to being unfaithful, there’s no shock that private investigators, experts, and even people who have cheated themselves have all come out with subtle red flags to spot it.
But that doesn’t mean you’ll be able to catch a cheater if they’re thinking outside of the box and not leaving their emails open or phone lying around.
So, how can you catch someone if the things you’re looking for aren’t there?
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According to a 2022 study from Personality and Individual Differences, cheaters have more than 53 different ways to cover up their infidelities.
In the end, however, author Menelaos Apostolou determined that there are 11 tactics which are the most commonly used.
They are more interested in you
According to Apostolou, a cheater will cosy up to you as a way to prevent you from figuring out they’re cheating.
The researcher wrote in the study: “Infidelity-hiding strategies are likely to involve deception (e.g., lying to a partner) and manipulation (e.g., expressing love to partners to assure them of their devotion).”
Maybe they want more date nights all of a sudden, and you think it’s sweet. But they’re doing it to throw you off...
They clean up their digital evidence
While it seems like an everyday thing to find evidence on someone’s phone, be it texts or social media, the author explained that it’s something cheaters tend to think about.
Their inbox is scrubbed, or they routinely delete messages to make sure you’ll never catch them out.
They use fake accounts
Whether this is a burner phone, a fake email address or profile, cheaters apparently like to separate themselves from the mess they are meddling in.
So, if you see something online that doesn’t look right when it relates to your person, check it out.
They make sure things are secure
According to the study, cheaters will make sure their passwords are secure so that their cheating activity can stay hidden for longer.
Do they cover their phone so you can’t see the pin? Maybe they’re hiding something.
They’re discreet
Cheaters don’t want their cheating out in the open, with the study revealing that they typically use excuses to plan private dates, so you’re unlikely to find out.
They might say they have a work meeting, but be halfway down to someone else’s bedroom.
A new person appears in their life
"This new girl started at work yesterday,” he says. Oh?
According to the study, if your partner has suddenly made a new friend or is bringing up the name of a person you’ve never heard of before, it could be their cheating partner.
It doesn’t last long
Cheaters keep things short and sweet to avoid detection, the study claims.
That means no long phone calls, not contacting them constantly, or trying to see them all the time.
Instead, they opt for small meetings that are spaced out so you don’t get suspicious.
They don’t lose interest
Despite doing you dirty, a cheater might start planning a future with you or continuing their life plans without missing a beat. Even though they have someone else, they don’t seem to want to let you go either.
Their friends are their alibi
Friends are often used by cheaters to cover their tracks, with the study revealing that they tend to name-drop mates when they are out with their affair partner.
“I’m off out with Jack,” meanwhile, he’s with ‘Jess’ at Tamworth’s Odeon watching an anniversary special of Titanic. Nuh-uh.
They aren’t worried
Cheaters aren’t playing when it comes to making sure they don’t get caught.
From taking up new hobbies so they can use them as an excuse to step out on you with someone else, to making sure their cheating slots don’t coincide with time spent with you, they have it all figured out.
Alarmingly, this prospect doesn’t scare them.
They act natural
Pretending like nothing has changed is the cornerstone of cheating.
If they acted like they were guilty, you’d read it on their face.
So, they get good at acting. Too good.
Topics: Sex and Relationships, Science
Britt Jones