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A man has been crowned the unofficial Jaffa Cake eating UK champion after munching down 36 of the fruity chocolate snacks in only three minutes.
Right, so that's not actually that far from Stockton, but it's only the first staging of the event, OK?
Anyway, Stu is a local boy come good. He walked off with a cash prize as his reward for scoffing down 1,600 calories over the course of the three minutes.
If you crunch the numbers, that works out as one Jaffa Cake every five seconds.
Because it's the British Eating League, this isn't the only event that is being put on. In fact, the next heat will see the competitive eaters attempt to tackle a chocolate fudge cake in the quickest time possible.
Craig Harker, the landlord of The George Pub and the organiser of the eating competition, said: "I'm absolutely over the moon to launch the British Eating League after creating some of the world's biggest dishes here at the pub.
"We saw one man eat over 1,600 calories in three minutes which shows that the competition out there for speed eating is high.
"Eating is a sport and I'm proud to chair both the eating league and Ultimate Eating Championship to bring competitive eating to venues all across the country.
"Every event is overseen by the UK Competitive Eating Organisation which supports with safety planning, rules and guidance to ensure every event is safe for all.
"I can't wait for the next contest in March, when each person is challenged to eat a whole double chocolate fudge cake to themselves."
Well, as Dr Hibbert once said on The Simpsons, a balanced diet can include the occasional eating contest.
Obviously, that's not a carte blanche to go out and eat whatever you want. In fact, competitive eaters, you'll find, spend as much time at the gym as they do munching their way through unfeasibly large plates of food.
She can eat 22 Big Macs in an hour, but only weighs 55 kilograms. That's because in order to take on food challenges, she's gotta work it off.
She explained: "I go to the gym five days a week, and I do intermittent fasting. I only eat one or two meals a day.
"Not all my challenges are unhealthy either. Last week I ate half a kilo of raw broccoli."
When is the British Eating League going to have a broccoli-eating contest, eh?
Featured Image Credit: SWNS
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