| Last updated
If you're the competitive type and you're gassy as anything (and you live in India), then we may have just the competition for you.
The country's first farting contest is due to take place next Sunday in the city of Surat, in the western state of Gujarat.
The 'What The Fart' competition is the brain/arse-child of singer Yatin Sangoi, and entrants will be judged on the volume, length and musicality of their bum coughs. The 48-year-old was inspired to set the competition up after latching on to a jokey throwaway comment and taking it way too far.
Speaking to VICE, he said: "I farted in the middle of watching a movie with my family and one of them laughed, and said that if there was a contest, I would've won. That's when it hit me that while fart contests happen in countries like China, UK and US, and even have a world cup, we don't have anything like it in India."
We have fart contests in the UK? This is the first time I've got wind of this.
Anyway, while the stench-fest on the surface of it sounds bloody awful and unjustifiable, Mr Sangoi reckons it could help to reshape cultural norms in a way that might benefit public health.
He said: "I want to normalise the process of farting. Even 20-25 years back, people used to fart openly, but now they've become all sophisticated and consider it gross, often shamed for farting publicly, when even doctors will tell you that farting is one of the healthiest human body functions."
That's as maybe Mr Sangoi, but it's bad enough being sat on a damp bus when some dirty b*****d lets one off, do we really want every corner of society smelling like arse?
For those getting behind Mr Sangoi's #FreeTheFart campaign, there will be trophies up for grabs at his competition, as well as cash prizes between 5,000 rupees (£56.76) and 15,000 rupees (£170.28).
Mr Sangoi has also provided some handy tips on how entrants can prepare for the event and recommends a diet of radish, beans and boiled potatoes to ensure they have plenty of farts in their locker.
However, while Mr Sangoi - who is already planning on taking the contest to other cities - clearly loves farts, there are currently only 19 people 'going' on the competition's Facebook event page.
So perhaps not everyone quite has the same appetite for flatulence.
Chosen for YouChosen for You
Most Read StoriesMost Read