Despite what you might have heard from the internet, Donald Trump is not dead yet.
His obituary is very much going to be one you won't need to work very hard to find, because when it happens, it's going to be a big event.
Recently, some people have jumped the gun over certain recent developments after the US president was spotted trying to cover up bruises on his hands, hadn't been spotted in public for a while, and JD Vance had been talking about what he'd do should the top job in the White House become available.
Some internet sleuths had even reckoned that the infamous 'Pentagon pizza index' was pointing towards major happenings and put it all together to reach the conclusion that Trump had died and the truth was about to come out.
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In a demonstration that he was not actually dead, Trump was spotted playing golf with his granddaughter and issued a statement on the rumours of his health.
"NEVER FELT BETTER IN MY LIFE," he wrote on Truth Social, and while it's hard to believe that's the case considering he's 79 and was recently diagnosed with a chronic health condition, it is at least proof of life.
There have been several US presidents who've died in office and if that should ever happen again, then it's the vice president's job to take over, which is why JD Vance was asked about his potential readiness to do the job rather than it being some kind of secret sign he was already having to do it.
When he does pop his clogs, you'll be able to hear about it from pretty much everywhere rather than just the rumours circulating on social media.
Meanwhile, in other recent Trump happenings, he said last week that many Americans 'want a dictator', before he then said it again the following - all while insisting he wasn't a dictator.
He also wished Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce, a couple he's had plenty to say about in the past, the best of luck with their upcoming marriage.
Another executive order was signed by him, this one banning the burning of the American flag, which has allowed The Simpsons to chalk up another notch on the 'we predicted it' record.
Plans to hold a UFC event at the White House to celebrate the 250th birthday of the US next year are also still going to go ahead, despite the idea being criticised as 'trashy'.
Beyond the concern some people have that Trump might die in office before the end of his term, there are others who worry he's actually planning to run for a third term and stay in the White House well into his 80s.
Trump himself has flip-flopped between him 'not joking' about the prospect of a third term and denouncing the idea as a product of the 'fake news media'.
Pick a lane, Donald.
Topics: Donald Trump, US News, Health, Social Media
Joe Harker