The Fake Taxi Has Been Found Safe And Well
People were lost for words when news broke that The Fake Taxi had been stolen from its parking space in Sutton.
Who would want to deprive the world of a service that creates porn in the back of a taxi?
Thankfully, we don't need to worry about that anymore as the infamous vehicle has been found safe and well.
A post on the Taxi's Facebook page says: "We are so happy & relieved to say that we have found our stolen taxi in fine condition!From the bottom of our hearts, thanks to the general public & our fans for all of your help. Without you, we wouldn't have been able to find our pride and joy."
According to the page, the Taxi was stolen because the mysterious seducer 'John' left the bloody keys in it. Come on mate - that is a serious rookie error.
To be fair, it's not as if the thief would have been able to get very far in the vehicle as it has a massive 'Fake Taxi' logo printed across it. Imagine the cops having to look through that car with a blacklight for evidence and seeing the godawful stains in the back.
When it went missing, the company put out a statement saying: "This vehicle holds a lot of sentimental value to the Passengers, Drivers and creators of Fake Taxi."
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"We're at a loss for words. The vehicle has a lot of history with our site and is deeply missed.
"We have other vehicles available, so this will not halt production on FAKE Taxi or FAKEhub. We hope to find the vehicle soon, so any assistance the public can offer in locating the vehicle will be very helpful."
This vehicle holds a lot of sentimental value to the Passengers, Drivers and creators of Fake Taxi. :worried::taxi:- Fake Taxi :taxi: (@FakeTaxi) June 5, 2018
Please help us find it by Retweeting our Pinned Tweet & using #FindFakeTaxi :sos:https://t.co/ucIyvp439T pic.twitter.com/BqEPPWl5MA
Getting your vehicle stolen is just one of countless problems that Fake Taxi owner JT has had to go through.
He recently talked us through some other occupational downsides that come with working in the adult film industry, including: "At the end of a hard day on location and you're smelling like sex even though you didn't actually have any."
Another weird part of his job, as he so eloquently puts it: "Being surrounded by grown men with cocks the size of King [Kong]'s thumb, masturbating to keep themselves hard, while looking you in the eye and talking casually."
Yeah, can imagine that's a bit awkward, that.
But at least they don't have to put their feelers out for a new vehicle now that their prized possession is back in their hands.
Featured Image Credit: YouPorn Guy