Ever since Mark Wahlberg shared what he claims is his daily routine with the world, we've been feeling completely amazed. Or baffled, we're not really sure.
At first we were all like 'Woah, way to make us all feel crap about ourselves, dude'. But then we took another look at it and you're all like 'Wait, WTAF?'
For starters, the man says he gets up at 2.30am, which is ridiculous in itself. Then follows a very early morning of prayer, workouts, golfing, showering and several snacks. I mean, I think I'm impressed that someone's found a way to factor in three dedicated eating slots into the schedule by the time 8am rolls around, but it looks like it comes at a cost I'm not entirely sure I want to indulge myself.
And it seems that Ryan Reynolds - the master of trolling - is equally unimpressed, having taken it upon himself to respond with a breakdown of his very own hectic daily schedule.
He shared the mock timetable while appearing on The Tonight Show, and it's as ingenious as you'd expect from the Deadpool actor, who's known for taking the piss out of everyone from fellow actors to his own wife.
His Monday consists predominantly of 'Gym, tan, laundry', before an event for A Simple Favor - the new film his wife Blake Lively stars in. He adds 'No divorce jokes!', before telling himself his plans for 9pm: "Sneak out of MOMA screening to regroup. It can't be all about you. This is her moment. Get it together, asshole."
Wednesday sounds like a particularly busy day for Reynolds, as he's got a 10am brainstorm on world peace pencilled in before saving the environment at 11am. At 12pm he'll treat himself to a Lunchable, setting him up nicely for finding a new hairstyle between the hours of 1pm and 7pm.
Thursday is known to Reynolds as 'Parenting day!', which involves picking up the kids from a 'celebrity child kennel'. The children are then returned via chauffeur at 6pm.
Later in the week he's got a Skype call with his 'secret family in Denmark', and also plans to 'cry in front of a stranger' before watching Paddington 2 for the 100th time - as part of a date night that will only last for 10 minutes.
And what about Sunday? It's no day of rest for this high-powered thesp. According to Reynolds: "Spend the day looking for roles which feature a strong male character."
Solid week, bro. And not a cryo chamber recovery in sight.
Featured Image Credit: PA
Topics: Entertainment, Celebrity, Funny, Ryan Reynolds, Mark Wahlberg