Woman says year-long affair made it easier to accept husband's annoying habits

While today (5 January) might supposedly be ‘Divorce Day’ when lawyers apparently see an increase in enquiries around separation, it seems others have their own ways of making marriage work.

One woman even previously opened up about having a 14-year affair with no intention to leave her husband, as others may instead choose to open up their relationship with a bit of swinging or a touch of soft-swapping.

There is even a whole site available for those specifically looking to date new people while married, the elusive extramarital dating site, Illicit Encounters. And it was here that one woman found her match when she hit the age of 50 with a feeling ‘of dread’.

She had been struggling in her marriage. (Getty Stock)

She told Stylist that she had been with her husband for over two decades, having met up in her 20s, with him being ‘quite a bit older’. They had two kids together but she said it never became the ‘fun loving marriage’ she’d hoped for and felt ‘constantly under-appreciated’ by him.

The woman says they had been sleeping in separate rooms for nearly 10 years, hadn’t had sex in over eight, and once their kids moved out, the house felt ‘cold and lifeless’.

So, she decided to look outside of their marriage and eventually met a man she had an ‘instant connection with’, sharing ‘deep conversations’ she didn’t get from her partner.

Nicknaming the man ‘David’, she said their first meet-up for coffee was like a weight being lifted from her.

“I realised just how much I was missing out on,” she explained. As she’d been struggling with her mental health, being with this new man feels like she’d finally got what she ‘signed up for’ when she married her husband.

“Fun, laughter, attention and affection,” she said. “Being able to have sex again after so long is also a huge part, but I love the fact that I have someone to send songs to or make plans with.”

But what may have been more surprising for her was the ‘positive impact’ it had on her marriage.

There's a whole dating site for people looking to have affairs. (Getty Stock Image)

“As crazy as it sounds, cheating has definitely helped improve my relationship with my husband: I’m more accepting of my husband’s annoying habits, and I just don’t sweat the small stuff anymore,” she explained.

She says that before David, she’d be having constant rows and going in circles on things with her husband, but now she lets ‘things go more easily’ as she has her ‘delicious escape’.

The woman added that finding what she needed has helped her to ‘be kinder and more empathetic’ to her husband and feels ‘sad for him’ rather than angry like she used to when he struggles to express his feelings.

She also explained that she thinks she hasn’t just left her partner because of the ‘fear of the unknown’. And while she feels ‘some guilt about having an affair’, she really believes it’s the ‘best thing for us’.

“I’m a better parent and a better partner,” she explained. “I don’t feel trapped anymore, and I’m no longer taking that frustration out on my husband. If anything, part of me wishes I’d had an affair sooner.”