Woman Hospitalised After Selling Farts On Track To Become Millionaire

A woman who was hospitalised after selling farts is on track to become a millionaire.

Stephanie Matto, from Connecticut, USA, is living, talking proof that the American Dream is alive and well. Summarising this point succinctly, she said: "I managed to make $200,000 out of my a*s."

Yes, the 90 Day Fiancé TV star has managed to rake in buckets selling jars of bum burps.

However, like any business, she faced a setback - that setback being that she was hospitalised having mistaken gas pains caused by her diet for a stroke.

The 31-year-old had been eating loads of beans, eggs and protein shakes in order to ensure she could keep with demand, and in light of the health scare, she decided she oughta rein in her flatulence.

Keen to keep the money train rolling, she decided to start selling her farts as NFTs, or nun-fungible tokens.

Remarkably, in just a few days since launching, she said she has already sold 1,000 for $200 (£148) each, and she has 5,000 up for sale - so if they're all snapped up, she'll have made a million from her a*s.

Steph launched her website last week, selling 5,000 digital fart jars in JPEG form tied to a blockchain receipt for 0.05 of the cryptocurrency Ethereum, which is the equivalent of $200 in old fashioned cash money.

So just to be perfectly clear, people are now using $200 worth of digital currency to buy a digital token which represents a woman's fart in a jar.

Honestly, what the f**k has happened to the world? Didn't people in the past swap loaves of bread for a shoe shine? Where did it all go so wrong?

That said, I'm not knocking Steph for becoming a self-proclaimed 'fartrepreneur'. Supply and demand and all that... I suppose it's the demand that's most concerning.

Explaining the rationale behind her switch from selling actual farts to digitised farts, she said: "It was towards the end of my time doing the mass orders of fart jars that I began to see the toll it was taking on my body and health.

"I thought maybe digitizing the farts and putting them out into the metaverse was the best way to keep the farts going.

"I think my transition from selling sexy content and farts in jars to metaphysical farts is causing some people to really rethink the way that NFTs can be used and conceptualized.

"I really want to make an example for women in the NFT community that they have a space too.

"The farts in each jar don't just symbolize my farts, but they stand for being able to make money any way you can."

There you have it folks - Steph Matto, the American Dream in human, gas and digital form.